Love and Relationship Advice Blog

We wanted to let you know that we just created a brand new special report that shows you how you can reverse some of the things you could be doing in your relationship that can make a big difference when you reverse them.

We want to give you this info we just created at no charge.

It's our new "Relationship Reverse" Report.

We'll tell you how you can pick up a copy of it at no charge in a moment but...

If you're wondering what's a "Relationship Reverse?"

Think about it this way...

Sometimes when you're going somewhere, you realize that you just went to far, made a wrong turn or just decided to go somewhere else.

When this happens-- what's the first thing you have to do in order to get where you want to go?

You have to put your vehicle in "reverse", then back up, turn around and go a different direction in order to get where you want to go.

It's the same way in our relationships.

Sometimes, we have to "reverse" direction. Make some shifts in what we're doing and in most cases these small reverses can make big differences in the quality of our relationships and our lives.

We've identified 14 small (and not so small) things you can do right now that have the power to totally transform
the quality of your love relationship or marriage for the better.

Sometimes all you have to do is "reverse" some of things you've been doing that may not be working as well as you think and suddenly your relationship starts working better, you're feeling closer and more connected to your partner and you wonder "why didn't we do this before?"

What can you reverse in your relationship that can make a difference in your life?

No matter how close and connected you are with your partner-- we're willing to bet there are some things you can reverse quickly and easily and make things much better starting today.

Pick up a copy our brand new report--Relationship Reverse Report--(at no charge), print it out or read it from your computer screen and devour every word of it.

Put into practice even just one of our suggestions and watch your relationships get better and more loving.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We all have stories running in our minds all of the time and these stories can certainly separate us from the ones we love!

Here's what Jill and George told us about their communication challenge and some ways that they created the closer, more loving relationship that they wanted...

Jill and her husband George seemed to connect fairly well most of the time and communication wasn’t a problem but every now and then, when they were both tired, had a bad day at work or the kids were particularly cranky—their communication fell apart and they couldn’t seem to say anything right to one another.

They decided what they wanted instead, questioned their stories, made a new intention and they ran a different story in their minds.

At those stressful times, Jill complained to herself that all of the housework and care of the kids was on her shoulders—as well as doing her paid job. Her story was that George never helped and she was angry with him.

George's story was that Jill complained all of the time. He told himself that he worked hard all day, he was tired and didn’t feel like doing any “home” chores. His story was that Jill would take care of anything that needed to be done at night at home because she didn’t work as hard as he did.

The two of them obviously locked horns over this many times and it was hurting their marriage until they found a way to look at their situation and the stories they were telling themselves differently.

Continue reading "Communication With Your Partner: Change Your Story" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It’s not just little girls who dream of a happily-ever-after kind of love. Almost everyone wants to experience a great love relationship or marriage. The wonderful feelings that come with connection and passion are undeniable. And, once you have love like this, you want to keep it going.

An intention to experience a connected and passionate relationship might lead a person to believe that he or she has to work hard and be vigilant to make it happen. Unfortunately, this belief can cause that person to miss the wonderful moments and joy already going in the relationship. Instead, we encourage you to have fun as you allow the great relationship you’ve always wanted to unfold. You may even discover that you already have a fabulous relationship.

New Year’s resolutions was the focus of a recent editorial column in one of our local newspapers. The columnist observed how she joined the common practice of setting resolutions for herself at the beginning of each new year—particularly goals to eat healthier, exercise more and lose weight. She went on to say that at the end of the year she regularly found that she’d not lived up to those goals and felt disappointed in her failures.

This year she made a new discovery. She realized that her list of resolutions for last year was longer than what she tended to focus on. Lower down on the list included goals like spending more time outdoors, watching more movies and spending more time with friends. She was delighted to find that she did follow through on these “lesser” goals. The big message in this editorial was that we tend only see what we didn’t do or what isn’t going right in our lives. How freeing and uplifting for the columnist when she expanded her sense of what was important and celebrated what she did accomplish.

Do you find yourself focusing on what’s not going right in your life and your relationship goals that you haven't met? Do you find that you are so intent on your goals that the unmet goals are all you see? Or do you not set any goals but constantly are thinking that you'd like your relationships, especially a love relationship to be better?

If so, try out these 3 tips…

Continue reading "Relationship Advice for Keeping your Love Growing" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 07:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Whether you’re married or have been in a love relationship, at one time or another, you’ve probably experienced disconnection-- as if a wall had sprung up between the two of you. The relationship wall could’ve resulted from a major disagreement, an argument that was never resolved, or perhaps it’s been slowly building over time.

Despite the specific cause, a relationship wall between you and your partner means that you are not living the close, passionate intimate relationship you want.

You may be hoping, wishing, that that wall would just disappear! In the Harry Potter books and movie series, Harry and his schoolmates travel to Hogwarts School by way of a magical train which picks them up from a special train platform. Before his first year at Hogwarts, Harry is told to meet the train at Platform 9 ¾. He is confused to find nothing but a solid-looking brick pillar between platforms 9 and 10. Finally, a family shows him how to literally walk into and through the pillar (at a nice run even) to get to where he wants to go.

We realize that the Harry Potter world is one of fantasy that is different in many ways from the one we live in. But, we can learn valuable lessons about dissolving relationship walls from Harry’s experiences reaching Platform 9 ¾.

Let us show you how…

Continue reading "Dissolve Relationship Walls to Create Deeper Intimacy" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We’ve all heard about the infamous “mid-life crisis” where one person in a seemingly happy marriage becomes dissatisfied with the way life is going and has an affair. Mid-life divorces can be the result of the crisis.

Of course, not all affairs happen after many years of marriage. They occur in relationships where the couple is not married as well as in marriages that are just a few months old. When a couple makes the agreement to be monogamous and this agreement is broken, it is usually an indication of overall disconnection.

So is it possible to head off an affair before it happens?

Continue reading "Heading Off an Affair Before It Happens" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You are probably wondering "What's a helmet head"?

As you continue reading this article, you're going to learn about "helmet heads" and why your level of relationship success and happiness depends on you NOT being one.

So, if NOT being a "helmet head" is so important, not just in our relationships but in our lives, then you'll want to know our definition and how you can recognize when you are being one.

Read on to find out more...

Continue reading "Relationship Advice for NOT being a "Helmet Head"" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

When passion dies in a long-standing committed relationship, what do you do?

Recently, a woman wrote to us saying that she had been in a committed relationship for 7 years and that although they live together compatibly, her partner was no longer interested in sex. He had had a heart attack 3 years ago, takes a lot of medicine and their love-making just isn't what it used to be. She said he told her that she doesn't do anything to turn him on and she said that he does nothing to change. She went on to say that he needed to exercise and that she's scared of future health problems. She's very frustrated and wanted help.

Here's the advice we gave her...

Continue reading "What Do You Do When Passion Dies?" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What a cozy feeling it is to cuddle up at a campfire, roast marshmallows, and listen to an often outlandish tale. Maybe it’s spooky, maybe a fantasy; whatever the story, it is usually one that captivates those seated by the fire and adds to everyone’s enjoyment of the moment.

Now, how many times (a day even) do we tell stories to ourselves? These can be stories about how we think others see us, what we believe someone else might be thinking, or even what we think is possible in our own lives.

This second type of storytelling is not only not fun, it is often harmful to ourselves and to our relationships. One sure-fire way to increase connection and intimacy with those we love is to stop telling ourselves stories!

Here's a great example to explain what we mean...

Continue reading "Creating Deeper Intimacy: Forget Your Storytelling" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A few days ago we received a question from a woman that reminded us of a big chance at "fame" that we passed up a year or so ago when we were asked to be on a TV show called "Wife Swap."

If you're not familiar with the show, "Wife Swap" is an unscripted reality TV show that airs weekly on the ABC Television Network where each week from across the country, two families with very different values are chosen to take part in a two-week long challenge. The wives from these two families exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover just what it's like to live another woman's life.

As you can imagine, it didn't take us long to decline their offer because it simply isn't in alignment with what we are all about or want for our lives and our relationship.

Which brings us back to this woman's question...

She wrote that her husband says that he still loves her but wants to do "wife swapping." She doesn't want to and is feeling a great deal of pressure from him to do it. He told her that she has "issues" about the topic that he doesn't. She said that she feels that she's not enough.

Her question to us--which is one that we receive every day from people about all sorts of topics--is this...

"Am I right to feel the way I do?"

Whether the relationship challenge is about wife swapping, jealousy over someone at work, helping with child care, housework, or any other conflict, the nagging question that many people have is the one this woman had. It just manifests itself in different forms for different people and with different issues.

So with that in mind, we'll answer her question "Am I right to feel the way I do?" for anyone living with this question...

Continue reading "Wife Swapping, Love Relationships and Marriage" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's a quick question for you...

Have you ever done or created any thing any time or any where in your life that you would consider a "peak experience"?

If we think about it for a moment almost all of us can come up with something that has happened in our lives that we consider a "Peak experience" but here's what's interesting in thinking about peak experiences ....

Most of us have the belief that peak experiences happen rarely, if at all, in our lives and our relationships. We often resort to living vicariously by reading romance novels, watching sports events or "Grey's Anatomy" on television to get a similar "charge" from a peak moment.

While we certainly don't think doing any of those things is bad, we think that everyone can (and does) create peak experiences in their own lives more of the time. In our opinion, the goal is to take these "peak experiences" and make them the "norm" and repeatable.

Sound impossible?

It isn't and here's why...

Continue reading "Relationship Advice for Making Peak Experiences Last" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Did you know that one of the biggest ways that hold people back from connecting with others and creating great relationships is the stories they tell themselves.

This idea that the "stories" we consciously or unconsciously create and live by is one of the major keys to the success, (or unsuccess) happiness and fulfillment in both our relationships and our life.

The two of us talk about examining the stories we tell ourselves so much because this idea has helped us create better relationships in our lives, as well as the lives of so many others.

Recently, a friend of ours told us about a "story" that she had been telling herself about her dog that we thought was a very wise relationship and life lesson. We got her permission to tell her story and we wanted to pass it on to you.

So, here goes...

Continue reading "A Relationship Lesson from Sophie" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

What do you do if you no longer desire your partner or your desire seems to have faded?

That question is similar to one that a woman asked us recently and not only were we intrigued by her question but her situation seemed similar to the challenges that many people face in their relationships.

Because of this, we decided to share our answer to this question with all of you.

First of all, when it comes to the question like "what do you do if you no longer desire your partner or your desire seems to have faded?" one thing is for sure... this is the kind of question that no one likes to admit, let alone deal with.

This is especially true if you have been with your partner for many years, truly love him or her and have no intention of leaving your relationship.

What we have discovered is that when physical intimacy is lacking or non-existent in a marriage or long-lasting relationship, there can be a lot of unspoken thoughts, feelings and beliefs that build walls instead of create connection.

The relationship usually limps along and one or both people find that they have a desire for something more somewhere inside themselves.

So what's going on when there's love between two people but the desire just isn't there any longer? How does this happen?

Continue reading "Marriage Advice when Desire Fades or is Gone" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It's been said that there are only two things in life that are certain and those are death and taxes.

To that short list, we would definitely add "change" and along with changes there are always "transitions" that
we must navigate through as well.

It's how we handle these "changes" and "transitions" in our relationships and lives that are partially responsible
for our degree of happiness we feel in life.

So, why is this so important and how do we do this with as much skill and grace as possible?

Continue reading "Relationship Advice about How to Deal with Transitions" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Could it be possible that we all unconsciously tell ourselves lies in almost every moment that keep us from having the love, relationships and the life that we really want?

Consider just for a moment that this could be true and then consider this next question...

What limiting lies do you tell yourself and what problems do they create in your life and relationships?

If you're like most people, your quick "flinch reaction" to the question we just asked you is "I don't tell myself any lies, I'm honest with myself and everyone else."

Or your answer might have been, "I know other people that lie to themselves all the time but not me."

We've been wondering about this question quite a bit over the past few days since we've been listening to Steve Chandler's audio program "17 Lies That Are Holding You Back and The Truth That Will Set You Free."

What we have discovered is that yes...we, you and everyone else do indeed tell ourselves more lies than we can even imagine and these "lies" that limit us and keep us from having the courage to create what we really want.

If we're all consistently telling all these lies to ourselves, what are some of the common ones?

Continue reading "Relationship Advice about the Lies We Tell Ourselves" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If there's one thing that we know from first-hand experience, it's how challenging it can be to stay connected during major (or even minor) changes in our lives.

We're in the process of moving from a small town and house where we have lived for many years to a larger city about an hour away.

If you've made a move like this yourself, you know the amount of "stuff" that has accumulated during those years--and you have to move it, sell it or give it away.

For us, the challenge has been to find ways to stay connected through the stress of selling our house, buying a new one and preparing to move to our new location.

We know that moving is not the change that can create challenges for a couple to stay connected. We'll list just a few and we're sure you could add many more to it...

* Birth of a child
* Loss of a job
* New Job
* New Boss
* Child leaving home for college or moving out
* Financial challenges
* Health challenges
* Death of parent
* Becoming the care-giver for a parent
* Death of a child

And the list could go on and on...

The changes that can challenge your connection can be major ones or even not-so-major ones. Believe it or not, even planning and going on a vacation or the kids starting back to school can create disconnection!

So how do you keep your connection through changes, whether big or small, that come up in your life?

Continue reading "Marriage Advice for Staying Connected Through Changes" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Whether it's Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or the Weather channel's meterologists Jim Cantore and Stephanie Abrams--or even your 8th grade science teacher--most of us have been attracted to, have had crushes on and even fantasized about people other than our partner from time to time.

In fact, we just saw a fun article by David Zinkinczko "What His Celeb Crush Says about Him" and although it had the ring of coming from a teen magazine, there was an element of truth about what he said.

In our opinion, these kinds of fantasies and "celeb" crushes are pretty harmless as long as the "perfect" looks, body or personality of the object of the crush doesn't get in the way of connecting with a real, live partner and having a real, live, close, connected relationship.

"Celeb" crushes and fantasies can certainly agitate jealousy tendencies and if the object of a fantasy is a person you or your partner see often--like a co-worker--there might be the temptation to act on the attraction. If that happens, it certainly spells trouble for a relationship and destroys trust between committed partners.

So the question is this...

Can you have your fantasies and still keep connected to your partner and deepen your love?

Continue reading "Relationship Advice about Fantasies and Crushes" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As we're sure you know, this week (on July4th) in the United States we're celebrating the founding of our nation, freedom and independence.

Just like a lot of you, we are spending time with friends and family and attending Independence day celebrations complete with fireworks.

One thing that's for sure is, the idea of independence means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

Since we're all so different, each of us has a greater or lesser desire for freedom and independence--and that's where the "rub" comes in.

In relationships of all kinds, the idea of "independence" is also pretty important and that's because freedom, independence and inter-dependence can be one of the stickiest issues that people and couples have to deal with.

Continue reading "Relationship Advice for Dealing with the Independence/Dependence Issue" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We saw the movie "Knocked Up" over the weekend and totally agreed with the reviewers that it was funny and worth seeing. There were so many observations that we could make about relationships and if you've seen it, we're sure that you have plenty of your own.

One of our teachers said it this way--"Men marry women hoping they don't change; Women marry men hoping they do"--and that's one of the big themes in "Knocked Up."

It goes something like this--Can the guy who doesn't hold a job, smokes dope and seems really irresponsible become responsible enough to become a good partner and parent? Can women change men and if men do change, are they happy?

So what about trying to change your partner? Can you do it and is it worth it if you do?

Continue reading "Relationship Advice from the "Knocked Up" movie" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You may not be aware of it, but one of the reasons that couples pull apart from one another and they can't seem to talk without an argument is that they don't listen to what's inside them. We've written a lot about how to create a red hot love relationship and of the "secrets" that we've discovered is to learn how to listen to yourself.

Here's what happened to Otto...

Continue reading "Advice for a Closer Love Relationship" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In order to have a red-hot love relationship that is vibrant, alive, sexy, juicy and filled with lots of connection there is one decision that every person and couple must make.

This decision is to individually and together decide what this kind of relationship means to you and then commit with your whole heart, mind and soul to creating this kind of relationship. Refuse to settle for anything less than what you want. Commit to creating and having a passionate, juicy, alive and connected relationship.

Refuse to settle for anything less than the highest vision you have for what you want your love and relationship to be. Commit to always expanding that vision for what you want and finding new ways for expanding and opening to more.

Continue reading "Heating Up Your Love Relationship" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 04:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We thought we'd heard just about everything until we saw this...

It was an ad for guys about how to seduce the "hottest" women by doing magic tricks.

Now, if you've been reading any of our materials, you know that we are NOT about seduction for the sake of manipulation.

We are about love, juiciness, aliveness, passion and connection.

But after we mulled over this magician's idea, we thought that there was something that we all could learn from it to make our relationships come alive.

Continue reading "Romantic Ideas Using "Magic"" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

During the past few weeks, there has been a furor over Actor Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty on the cheek
during an AIDS awareness benefit in India.

There's even been a lawsuit brought against Gere over his actions and there's talk of arresting Shetty as well.

While we're not avid followers of Hollywood gossip, this story was intriguing to us because this is much to be learned about relationships if we really think about this incident for a moment. .

This whole situation has been very polarizing for different groups of people.

Some people are dismissing these allegations as the actions of extremists and that they are embarrassing to the Indian culture. Some people are saying that Gere was out of line and that he should have known better.

Needless to say, if this had happened in the US, this would certainly not have been an issue. The reality is it happened in India and because of this it is a problem.

So what does all of this have to do with your relationships?

Plenty and here's why...

Continue reading "Relationship Advice from Gere's Controversial Kiss" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Whether we know it our not--we all want to connect deeper with someone or something. We might connect with animals instead of people but we all feel better when we are connected.

In committed relationships, that connection that we may have felt in the beginning of our relationship may come and go--and when it goes, we really feel it.

Here's a question along those lines from a woman...

"I have a question. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years. We were engaged but recently we have been having some problems. He says that he doesn't feel a connection to me anymore, but he wants to work on getting the connection back. How do you go about getting the connection back in your relationship? I still love him more than anything in the world, he is the one who's feeling unsure about our relationship."

Connection is something that we can take for granted until we feel its absence. Here are a few suggestions for getting a connection back...

Continue reading "Relationship Advice for Connecting Deeper" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We've heard of a lot of crazy things but one of the craziest is the idea of choosing 7/7/07 for your wedding date will help you to have good luck in your marriage.

As Relationship Coaches, we know that it takes much, much more than choosing a "lucky" day for your wedding ceremony.

Here are some of ideas of what we're talking about...

Continue reading "7/7/07 Wedding Date: Is this Date Lucky?" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you want to create a great (or even good) relationship or marriage, here's something you might want to keep an eye open for...

Whether you are currently in a marriage, in a long-term relationship, at the beginning stages of coming together with someone or not with a partner at the present time--one of the best ways we know of to begin creating the kind of relationship that you want is to keep your eyes open for role models.

Role models are everywhere and you don't even have to know or even talk to them for them to an inspiration for you.

Here's some info that might explain what we mean...

Continue reading "The Secrets To Lasting Love" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Recently, we received a couple of great questions from one of our newsletter subscribers and we thought that the topic raised a challenge that many people seem to have in their relationships.

Here is what the person wrote...

"Is it possible to treat someone too special? Can you give some examples on how to become someone who can attract more love, passion and connection?"

Here's our take on treating someone too special...

Continue reading "Dating and Marriage Advice for a Common Relationship Problem" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Someone came to one of our web sites recently and asked us this question which we thought was thought-provoking enough to warrant an answer in this week's newsletter so everyone could benefit from his question and our answer.

Here's his question...

"I have a friend that flirts with everyone wearing long pants and will kiss friends on the mouths when leaving a party."

He wondered if this was "normal and acceptable."

Here's our response...

Continue reading "Are you a Hugger, A Kisser, A Shaker or A Wisher?" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the December 2006 issue of "Performing Songwriter," there's a great interview with Keith Urban of country music fame where he not only talks about his music but also discusses marriage and relationships. Since he did not marry until he was 38 to actress Nicole Kidman, we thought he had some insightful things to say about the institution of marriage.

Continue reading "What You Can Learn from Keith Urban about Marriage and Dating" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 01:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of our newsletter subscribers asked us recently...

"How can I tell the difference between falling in love with a person's 'potential' and falling in love with someone who I can have a true soul/heart connection with?"

This is such a good question because whether you are single, between relationships or are in a long-term
committed marriage or relationship, this question is one that many people face as they change, grow and move through their lives.

The typical scenario around this topic goes something like this...

Continue reading "Falling in Love with Potential" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Since we're all about helping you experience the gifts of connection more of the time in your relationships and lives, here's an interesting question for you...

What is it that irritates or annoys you?

If you're like most people, there's probably been some time or another you've found yourself irritated by the small things that others say or do.

These could be mannerisms or annoying habits of loved ones or co-workers that seem to drive you crazy. For most of us there always seems to be something that doesn't seem to be such a big deal to others but is a big deal to us.

For Susie, loud gum "cracking" and "loud" eating have always been irritating to her. To you, these may be really small things and may not bother you but we're sure that you probably have things that seem to get "under your skin" as well.

Continue reading "Dealing With The Big and Little Things That Annoy You" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 09:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Although they may not be aware of them, everyone who creates a great relationship has certain things that they do over and over to create more love,passion, connection (or whatever is important to them) on a consistent basis in their relationships.

In any relationship it's usually not just one thing we do that creates the magic but many different things. Sort of like ingredients that go into a recipe for a favorite food or dessert-- if you leave out one of the key ingredients things don't go so well.

So what are the key ingredients in a close, connected and loving relationship?

Continue reading "A Key Ingredient for Creating Close, Connected Relationships" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What do people want for their relationships and lives today?

One thing we've noticed as we listen to relationship questions and work with people in our coaching practice is that they are wanting more out of their relationships and their lives.

You've probably looked around and noticed that some relationships seem to be dissolving because people are no longer willing to stay in relationships or marriages that aren't happy and satisfying. They want more.

You might have also noticed that other people stay in relationships that seem to have died a long time ago and even though they seem to be staying in these unfulfilling relationships, they still want more.

In the back of their minds, whether they leave their relationships or stay in them, they wonder if it's even possible to have a lasting relationship that's passionate and alive.

We not only know that it's possible--we've seen evidence of it and have lived it ourselves.

Continue reading "Looking at Your Marriage with New Eyes" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's a fascinating question that we received from one of our newsletter subscribers and we are fairly certain that the question has come up for many other people in their relationships.

Our subscriber asked...

"Can you say 'I love you' too much? How can I make my partner believe that you can not overuse the 'I love you' term. He says if we say it too often, it will become meaningless."

We've heard this question more than once and our answer may surprise you...

Continue reading "Can You Say 'I Love You' TOO Much?" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of the questions about relationships that many people struggle with is this--

"Can you have passion, love and connection in one relationship?"

Some people say yes and some say no.

With most relationships and marriages, here's what we find...

--There might be friendship or compatibility with a partner but no passion.

--There might be a feeling of being taken care of or taking care of someone physically, emotionally, or financially but that's as far as the connection goes.

--There might be passion at times and very little or no connection otherwise.

--There might be a deep feeling of love between the two people but they seem to be going in different directions much of the time with no real passion or connection.

So the question remains--Can you have it all?

Can you have Love, Passion AND Connection in one relationship?

Continue reading "Passion, Love and Connection in Your Relationship" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Are you minding your own business instead of someone else's?

We're all the time trying to change people andmake others the way we want them to be. When we do this , it's pure arrogance to believe that we know what's best for anyone else.

We've all said things like this about someone else in our lives--"Why can't he pick up his socks?" or "Why doesn't she take better care of herself?"

When we ask those questions, even in our minds, we are in someone else's business and this is where a lot of our "stress" comes from.

Continue reading "Marriage Advice for Minding Your Own Business" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 09:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In this day of almost disposable relationships, a question on the minds of many singles and couples is how to create a relationship that will last and one that will keep its vibrancy throughout the years.

We're taking ballroom dancing lessons with another couple Sam and Rosie, who have been Otto's friends for many years. They have been married for 24 years and by spending a lot of time with them, we were able to get a glimpse of the reasons they still have such a good marriage.

Continue reading "The Secrets to a Long, Lasting Marriage" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of the issues that many people are facing in their lives and showed up several times in our recent survey of our email newsletter list when we asked —“What’s the biggest question you have about how to create more love, passion and connection in your relationship and your life?"—was the problem of growing apart over the years and what to do about it.

Here’s what one person asked and the questions are certainly ones that we hear frequently from couples in relationships that have lasted many years…

“What do you do once you have already started to 'grow apart' after many years together and several kids? Can the closeness be restored and if so how?”

Here's our answer...

Continue reading "Marriage Advice When You've Grown Apart" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 01:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Many marriages get stale after awhile, often from lack of attention and the intention to keep connecting on a regular basis. Lately, we've both been thinking about ways that we could experience the gifts of connecting even more than we do already.

With that in mind, here's what Otto said that not only shocked Susie but some of our closest friends as well...

Continue reading "Marriage Advice for Connecting Deeper" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Keeping passion and spark in a long-term relationship is a challenge for most couples. Recently we received a series of questions about passion and spark and it's such an important topic that we thought we'd respond on this blog.

Continue reading "Passion in Relationships--A Few Questions about it" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 04:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When two families come together, there can certainly be wonderful things that come from the union but there can also be some aspects that are very uncomfortable for everyone involved. I found a few blogs about it and the topic is certainly a big one, especially if you're in one!

While the blended family can certainly be troublesome for the kids that are involved, it certainly has challenges for the new couple.

Often, there may be a feeling that there's a conspiracy against the new couple because it may seem like there's
never enough time, privacy, or energy to really be together and to have the fun and connection they once had together.

While our blended family has not always been perfect, we have learned some things that we'd like to share that have made our lives easier and happier.

Continue reading " The Blended Family: How to Survive It" »

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)