1 .Couples who "fall in love" AND "stay in love" over a long period of time get on the same team.

We can't tell you how many times we've seen it in our Relationship Breakthrough Coaching work with couples...

Couples compete with each other about big and small things (even in playful ways) and sit around in amazement
when the life has been sucked out of their relationship or marriage and they are left wondering...

Why?

The reason is simple:

When you put yourself against your partner, even in your mind, you drive a wedge between the two of you that prevents love and connection.

If you doubt whether this is true or not...

Try this...

The next time that you and your intimate partner or spouse have a disagreement and you think you're right and your partner's wrong--or even a friendly little "harmless" competition about anything, when you are finished, ask yourself one very easy question:

"Do I feel closer and more connected to him or her or do I feel distant and more disconnected?"

We're willing to bet that you'll feel more disconnected if there is any kind of competition between the two of you.

Of all the people we have ever worked with personally and those who have gone through our "Should You Stay
or Should You Go?" program for deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship http://www.StayorGo.com ...

Not one of these people has ever said to us...

"I feel like we're really on the same team here--we're splitting up!"

It just doesn't happen.

Here's the Susie and Otto rule for this:

In order to "stay in love," make sure that you and your partner or spouse ALWAYS play on the same team.

The potential challenges, upsets and heartbreak are just too great if you don't.

2. Couples who stay in love talk with kindness to each other.

Not only do these couples talk to each other differently, but they also use different words than the rest of us when they talk to each other.

They use "magic words" that seem to help open their partner instead of shut him or her down.

In any relationship, what we've found is that words can wound and words can heal.

We've found that the right words truly can make all the difference between whether you stay in love or your relationship becomes a divorce or breakup statistic.

We've also found that remembering to be kind, especially with your partner, is a "must" if you want to stay in love over the long haul.

3. Couples who "fall in love" AND "Stay in Love" remind themselves and each other regularly about what they like,
love and appreciate about each other.

Just last night, Susie told Otto that she really appreciated that he cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

Now some people would say that she shouldn't have to appreciate something like that because they are sharing responsibilities of the household.

Of course she didn't HAVE to appreciate him but a little appreciation goes a long, long way to keeping the two of us close and connected--and we know it will in your relationship too.

Another benefit to appreciation is that the other person will be more likely to keep doing what you like and want a lot more often than if you just let actions go by without commenting on them.

To many people, it may seem kind of silly for a couple who's been together as long as we've been together to be telling each other what we appreciate about each other all the time.

But it works--

Try this with your partner every so often and notice the difference it makes in your relationship.

Simply say to your partner:

"Something I really appreciate about you is____________"

And then fill in the blank with what you like, love or appreciate about him or her.

This alone can sometimes work miracles in a relationship or marriage.

Please know that we're not naive enough to think that in all cases simply "appreciating each other more" will solve all your relationship ills.

We're not suggesting that at all.

What we are saying is that it's been our experience that when you tell your partner, spouse or lover how much you
like, love and appreciate him or her in specific ways on a regular basis, --your relationship really sings.