1. Stop comparing yourself and your partner to anyone else

Just for this one period of time, take your focus away from comparing yourself or your partner to other people. When thoughts come up that you aren't as attractive as someone else or that this jealousy thing will never go away...shift your thoughts to the present moment and what's in front of you right now.

It's also helpful to remember why you love your partner and be in gratitude that you're together.

Sound difficult?

Maybe.

But remember--we're only asking you to do this for a few hours.

And you never know if you can do it until you try.

So try this when you have thoughts come up about how attractive your partner's co-worker is, how un-attractive
you feel, or how scared you are that your partner will create a jealous scene.

Take a deep breath and shift your attention inside you, saying something like this-"I love you."

You say this to yourself until you feel some ease in your body.

Try it every time you are envious of someone else, tempted to put yourself down, or frustrated by your partner's
jealousy.

2. Communicate what you want

To make your no-jealousy diet really work, you have to communicate with each other about how you and your partner can make this time special.

Before you can do this, you have to figure out what you want and then how to express it.

If you feel like it's difficult to go within yourself and determine what it is that you really want or to express it, we suggest that you turn your attention to one thing that you'd like instead of focusing on your fears of what your
partner may do or say or how they will react.

Do you want a quiet evening at home-just the two of you?

Do you want a truce and a moratorium on the arguments you've been having so you can have a nice dinner in a restaurant or an enjoyable time at a party or family gatherings?

Do you want to laugh together at a funny movie?

Take a moment and think what you'd like during this period of time?

If you're having trouble, we've got a whole course that shows you how to stop talking on eggshells and figure out what you want and how to share with your partner.

We know that it takes courage to resource yourself and find the courage to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what you'd like during this time. But if you do, you'll see changes that live long past this holiday.

3. Make the commitment to treat your partner and yourself special.

This may sound pretty far out there right now but in order for your jealousy diet to be success, it's time to put down
your defenses and your thoughts that separate you and just treat each other with kindness and love.

Here's an image to help you...

Put all of your comparisons, anxious thoughts, fears about past or future in a trash can by the door. Just throw
them in. You can always pick them up again if you want but for now, throw them in the can and put a lid on them.

You might even put a sign on your imaginary trash can something like--"Don't open until January 2--and maybe not
even then."

Now, find one way to connect with your partner.

It might be letting go of your normal way of being suspicious for just once and just being yourself or maybe the way you used to be.

It might be stopping yourself from making a sarcastic comeback and just listening.

It might be choosing to smile at your partner instead of frown.

Whatever it is, do something today that you haven't done in a long while that will bring the two of you closer together.

So we'll say to you have a jealousy-free holiday and please let us know if our suggestions helped make this a happier time for you.

Our best to you today and every other day.