Love and Relationship Advice Blog

Yesterday, we let you know about Otto's just released new ebook for men called "Light Her Up."

This ebook is for men who want to learn how to make their woman happy and get more love and passion from her in the process.

One person actually told us, if men do what's in this book they'll be giving women what they crave.

This is why...

A big wave of men (and a few women too) came and got their copy of "Light Her Up" and the bonus that we were offering to the first 50 people who were the initial "fast-movers" and this bonus is gone.

That's the bad news if you wanted the "What Women Really Want" ebook bonus we offered yesterday because it's now gone.

The good news is...

We've decided to offer a new fast-mover bonus to our already incredible package for everyone who comes to http://www.LightHerUp.com/Book and downloads their copy of "Light Her Up" before Friday night, October 22 at 12 midnight eastern time.

Anyone who orders the "Light Her Up" book and audio package before Friday, October 22nd at 12 midnight
eastern time gets...

Our "Red Hot Love Relationships" ebook at no charge.

"Red Hot Love Relationships" has been a best-selling product of ours for years and it gives you 77 skills and ideas
for turning up the heat, both in and out of the bedroom.

If you want more love, more passion, more intimacy and yes...a whole lot more sex from your woman, then click
on over to http://www.LightHerUp.com/Book and get your copy of "Light Her Up" right now.

This new fast-mover bonus will be a great companion book to go along with "Light Her Up."

AND...

This "fast-mover" bonus will only be available until 12 midnight eastern time on Friday, October 22nd at THIS web page http://www.LightHerUp.com/Book

After that, all fast-mover bonuses will be gone.

Here's what people are saying about the "Light Her Up" ebook...

We've gotten some great feedback about Otto's new "Light Her Up" ebook from early reviewers.

What Early Reviewers Said About "Light Her Up"....

"Solid stuff! Otto goes beyond the tricks and gimmicks
and spells out the core of what it means to be man's man
who can relate to a woman with the kind of intimacy that
a woman craves and yet maintain his sense of self and
personal power. Spend one day with each chapter, let it
soak in and watch your relationship (and life) be
transformed - without resorting to tricks, gimmicks or even
skill learning!"

Dr. Bob Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
Break-Free-From-The-Affair.com
************************

"Otto Collins does it again!

"His new book Light Her Up is filled with all of those things
that should be common sense, but are frequently overlooked
in relationships.

"Otto's straightforward approach provides easy-to-understand
tips on how anyone can improve their relationship. Even if you
feel your relationship is perfect already, reading this book surely
will bring things to light that you may have been overlooking.
Light Her Up definitely is written for the ordinary guy, and it
should be a "must read" for women too.

"Everyone will improve their relationships -- marriage, friends,
or family -- by reading this book and putting the tips into play.

"It is easy to see why Susie and Otto have a great relationship,
and I am glad they choose to share their not-so-secret secrets with us."

Dave Pickenpaugh

********************

"Light Her Up delivers on its promise. I nodded my head in
agreement on nearly every page, and it probably contains a year's
worth of seminars and workshops condensed into a friendly, engaging,
and readable manual for making your woman happy and getting the love
and sex you want. I am certain every woman I've coached wished
their dates or husbands had read this book.

"If there were a polite way for a woman to say, "Hey, read this book
and maybe it will explain why you're getting the reactions you do,"
they would say it in a heartbeat."

Michael Joseph
Dating and Relationship Coach
RightGuyRightNow.com

If you want more love, more passion, more intimacy in your relationship, then click on over to http://www.LightHerUp.com/Book and get your copy of "Light Her Up" right now.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

About an hour ago, we launched Otto's "Light Her Up" ebook and we're really excited to bring it to you.

If you're a man who wants to know how to light up your woman so you can get the love, appreciation and sex you really want, then you're going to want to get your hands on this info.

And if you're a woman in a relationship, we're guessing that inviting your man read or listen to suggestions on how to light you up would make far greater impact than if you TELL him.

When you get a copy of "Light Her Up," not only will you get access to the downloadable book but also you'll get the audios of Otto reading the book as part of the package.

To top that off, for the first 50 people who buy, you'll get this incredible bonus...

"What Women Really Want: 500 Women Reveal What Gets Them In the Mood For Love and S** More Often."

We kept having men tell us that they wanted to figure out how to get their woman "in the mood" for love (and S**) more often and we decided to survey women and ask them.

We got well over 500 responses and what these women told us was so amazing that we decided to compile their
answers, along with our thoughts and suggestions, into a book and make it available to you.

The good news is, you don't have to pay a dime for it if you act quickly.

Once again...

To jump in the front of the line and get this "fast-mover" bonus at no charge whatsoever, just go to THIS web page..

http://www.LightHerUp.com/Book

This is truly exciting to be able to offer this info and share these secrets with you.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 04:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

If there's one thing that can create havoc in your relationships, it's falling into hidden relationship traps.

And if you stay in those traps for long periods of time or just keep falling in them and you can't figure out why or how, your relationship can end up feeling empty and could even end.

The couples who don't fall into them have happier relationships than those who do.

These traps are sneaky and hidden because we don't see them coming before we fall right into them.

And then while we're in these traps, we often can't even see that we're in them, let alone find a way to get out.

Usually something happens to bring us out--but sometimes not. Sometimes the issues never get resolved. We just get busy with something else and the issue is buried, only to come back up at a later time.

Now, of course, we all fall into these traps every now and then because we're human (and they can be different for everyone).

But the happiest couples don't stay there when they do and they figure out ways to not fall in them very often.

For them, quickly getting out of these traps becomes a habit---or avoiding them altogether.

So what are these traps?

Here are 3 common sneaky, hidden relationship traps that we've certainly fallen into and we're guessing you or your partner have too...

1. The "Defending" Trap

Defending comes so natural and easy to so many of us when we think...

*we haven't been treated fairly
*we haven't been understood
*we're afraid we won't get our way
*we're not appreciated
*someone thinks differently than we think
*we think we're right and the other person is wrong

Defense rises inside us so quickly we don't even have time to recognize it before we've said or done something that pushes the other person further away.

That's why we call it sneaky and hidden.

Our defending seems to come from someplace deep inside and we don't in any way feel in control of it.

If defending is a pattern for you and you want to stop it (or at least slow it down), start recognizing what you do when you get hooked and then breathe.

It might mean that your stomach, jaw or neck tightens, you feel yourself want to fight or the opposite--run away, and you may stop breathing.

Taking a breath will allow some space for conscious action instead of unconscious action from habit.

2. The "Blame" Trap

How easy it is to blame the other person for something you see as a problem!

And if we don't blame the other person, we blame ourselves--and continue to blame ourselves.

The Blame Trap is sneaky because, again, we can fall into it easily, automatically and without conscious thought.

We easily fall into it because it's usually such an old pattern inside us that we don't even know we've fallen into it even after we have.

An example of the Blame Trap is when you find yourself saying "you never..." or "you always..."

Instead of "you never" or "you always," you might use a phrase like "I'm wondering if you'd be willing to talk about_____?"--even after you've caught yourself in the blame trap.

3. The "Taking Your Partner for Granted" Trap

This trap is an easy one to fall into after you've been together for awhile.

It's sneaky and hidden because many of us slide right into it without thinking.

It's easy to say things to your partner that you would never say to anyone else because the other person would be "hurt" and maybe take it wrong--and your partner supposedly wouldn't.

Yeah, right!

Somehow, there's a rationalization that after you've committed to one another, you can speak to each other any way you want or ignore what your partner does that's "right" in favor of pointing out what's wrong.

When you fall into this trap--and it becomes a habit--your connection, love and respect for one another starts to erode.

If you've seen yourself fall into this trap, make a conscious effort to turn it around and act in ways that build your relationship instead of tearing it down.

The point is to see where and how you fall into any of these traps, as well as when the situation shows up.

Then take a deep breath to stop you from automatically reacting in old ways.

Give yourself the space to make another, more empowering choice.

You can learn to avoid these hidden relationship traps.

If you want more love in your life and relationships, this week, we invite you to experiment with some of these ideas.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

We were fascinated the other day to see an online article about the "15 Jobs Most Likely to End in Divorce." for 2010 Even if you're not in one of these professions, because so many couples are ending their marriages, it's easy to get caught up in the fear that your marriage will end in divorce too.

It doesn't have to be that way. Even if you or your spouse is working in one of these jobs, you can create ways to keep your relationship alive and growing.

That's the secret--to consciously do things to keep your marriage growing and not lose each other by allowing "life" to take over.

Whether you or your spouse is working in one of these jobs or you're in other jobs, you can beat the odds. Here are 3 ways you can avoid divorce and keep your marriage strong...

1. Give up the Need to be Right

There are many reasons why you may blame, judge and have the need to be right, especially with your intimate partner. Much of it is done unconsciously and is just part of how we've learned to be human.

You may have seen your parents blaming and judging and it feels “normal” to you to be this way. There might be the unconscious or conscious idea that the more you blame, judge and prove that you’re right, the more likely your partner will change and do what you want. If you just “shout” loudly and often enough, the other person will change.

It doesn't work that way.

In our view, when you start blaming, judging or feeling that you are right and your partner is wrong, you have two choices:

***To continue to act out of fear and entrench yourself as the martyr or victim, telling all of your friends or your partner (over and over) how he or she is wrong and you are right; Or

***You can begin the healing process by giving up the attachment to the need to be “right” and spend your time and energy on whatever is necessary to heal the relationship.

Stop your unhealthy behavior by taking responsibility and acknowledge what you are doing. Make an agreement to help each other when blame or judgment creeps in between you or if one person is trying to “fix” another. And above all, you can start looking for what is right in your relationship rather than what's wrong.

2. Make Connection a Priority

As human beings, one of our deepest desires is a connection with other people. This connection means something different to each one of us.

Very often, the challenge for most of us is that we are either consciously or unconsciously doing things that create disconnection instead of connection.

We define a connected relationship as one where there is strong trust between two people. There is unconditional love and acceptance, even when there is disagreement.

A connection with another is created by focusing on that relationship, giving it the time, importance and energy of something that you value.

It's also created by honoring the other person, wherever they are on their path. In order to create a truly connected relationship, you have to get your ego needs out of the way. Your “ego needs” can take the form of pursuing power over another or insisting on being "right," no matter what.

So start today to create a strong connection with your partner and keep building it every day.

3. Rekindle laughter, fun, excitement and passion in your relationship

There’s a common myth about relationships that says—All marriages and long-term relationships naturally deteriorate over time and this deterioration is just a natural evolution in all marriages or long-term relationships.

We don't agree with that myth. We believe that if both people are conscious in their relationship and want to grow together, they do things on a daily basis that promote that growth and deep connection. When couples do this, their relationship can and does improve with age.

If love is there between the two of you and passion, laughter, fun and excitement are missing, then one of two things is the case-- either you haven't made them a priority or the connection of the heart isn't there.

If you want to keep your relationship alive, growing and filled with fun, laughter, excitement and passion, you have to first want to. You have to decide that the relationship is important in your life and give it the time and attention it needs. As we've said before, it doesn't matter what you say about your relationship, but it's your actions that speak the loudest.

One more suggestion--You also have to be open to receiving and giving love. Sometimes that’s not so easy if many years of unaddressed and unresolved hurts are in the way.

We urge you to start today to reconnect and bring the love back to your relationship before you too become a statistic.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)