>>>OUR COMMENTS:

The thing about jealousy (or any other relationship issue for that matter that keeps repeating) is that it is a signal
that there's something you need to pay attention to.

Whether your jealousy is warranted or not, there is something within you or outside of you that is not in alignment with what you want for your life.

This is especially true if you know for sure that what happened in your past is happening again, as our reader says.

We can only guess that our reader is talking about being cheated on in past relationships and also in this present relationship.

We know that this kind of situation can feel very overwhelming and freeze you so you aren't able to take action.

For example:

If you've been cheated on in the past...

You can feel a lot of anger that once again you are being cheated on and it's just not fair.

You can also feel ashamed and wonder what's wrong with you that you can't get with someone who will be faithful to you.

We'll go back to the saying "Your past doesn't equal your future" and this time we'll amend it a little...

"Your past doesn't equal your future--but it WILL if you don't do anything about your present."

In other words, in order to change your future, you have to start doing what you've been afraid to do or certainly something different than before--and you may need to learn some new skills to do that.

To help you change your future about whether jealousy (or any other issue) is a part of your life or not as you move forward, here are a few ideas...

1. Sit down and take a very objective look at your relationships that haven't worked out, including your present one.

Look for what the challenges were and are, write them on paper and look for patterns.

Pretty soon it will become apparent what you need to learn or do differently.

It might be to pay attention to red flags sooner in the relationship--like your partner doesn't listen to you, obviously watches other women (or men) and compares you to them or whatever other red flag that tells you that this is not the partner for you.

For instance, write what you noticed early on in the relationship but ignored.

It might be something else like you agreeing when you really disagree and keeping your mouth shut to not create an argument.

Whatever it is, write it down and you'll start to see what you need to learn.

2. If you know that your current partner is cheating on you, gather your evidence and confront the issue..

You are worth more than to stay silent about cheating if your agreement is that you will be faithful to one another.

Find out if your partner is willing to do what it takes to regain trust.

If you're looking for some ways to rebuild trust after an affair check out our Relationship Trust
Turnaround program.

If he or she is willing, you need a specific structure to follow to help you rebuild trust if your relationship is to work and Relationship Trust Turnaround will give you that structure.

3. If you have trouble speaking your truth, then learn how to communicate what's in your heart so that he or she will listen.

Our "Magic Relationship Words" and
"Stop Talking on Eggshells" can help if you want to learn some new ways to talk to your partner so you'll be heard.

If this partner won't talk to you or listen, you'll need the new skills you learn to help you create a new relationship in the future that's based on honesty and truth.

4. If this partner keeps doing what he or she has been doing, with no regard for what you want--then it's time for you to make another, more empowered choice for your life.

Setting a limit and sticking to it can be the most powerful thing you can do to change your future.

Saying "yes" to you in the form of "I want something better for my future" is a place to start creating it.

Remember, if you don't change some things, nothing will change and you may just keep creating the same experience over and over.

Have the courage to start creating a different future for yourself--and it all starts with you!