David Letterman’s Admission of Infidelity and Cheating: 3 Ways to Cheatproof Your Relationship
“Late Show” host David Letterman’s shocking admission of cheating, extra-marital affairs, and infidelity during Thursday night’s show leads to the obvious question—“Is any relationship or marriage safe from cheating and/or emotional extra-marital affairs?”
Lying, cheating and extra-marital affairs are commonplace today but there are things you can do to “cheat-proof” your relationship, even if there’s been cheating in the past. Here are 3 ways:
1. Go Back to What You Did in the Beginning That Made Your Relationship Special. As time goes on, people in marriages and relationships take each other for granted and forget why they were attracted to each other and fell in love in the first place. If you go back to looking for ways to be truly interested in each other again, you can recapture the bond that you once had—and make it even better as the years go by.
2. Only Flirt with Each Other. In relationships and marriages that have lasted many years, there can be flirting—but it may not be with their partner. To cheat-proof your relationship, turn your attention and your flirting toward the person you love instead of looking outside your relationship for that spark and ego-boost.
3. Stop “Talking on Eggshells” with each other. If you or your partner is critical, angry, or defensive with each other, there won’t be the trust and emotional connection to tell the truth so the lies and cheating come more easily. Make the agreement that you’ll speak your truth and listen to each other in an open, loving way. This doesn’t mean you’re without boundaries. It does mean that you can prevent the lies before they even begin.
Can anything be done if one of you has cheated and you want to stay together and make your relationship work again?
Yes—and there are some common mistakes that people make when they are trying to build trust after an affair.
Here are a couple...
1. One of these mistakes is not having a plan to rebuild trust. It’s not enough for the cheater to say “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” It has to be made very clear what being trustable means now after the affair and a plan has to be created so that the cheater and his or her partner can allow trust to build again.
2. Another big mistake is holding onto blame and judgment, even if the affair is over and the cheating partner is proving he or she is trustable.
It's possible to rebuild trust after the affair but there has to be a way to come together in a new way--and the one who cheated has to be open and willing to become accountable.
He or she has to be willing to prove that the cheating is over and that there is a renewed commitment to the primary relationship.
Comments
Great post with easy to follow tips. I love the advice to flirt with each other. too many couples flirt--in front of each other--but not with each other. The partner who flirts with others is minimizing the relationship and keeping real intimacy at bay. Great reminder!
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa Merlo-Booth | October 22, 2009 02:23 PM