Jon & Kate: Could they have saved their relationship?
You'd have to be on another planet right now if you haven't heard that reality stars Jon and Kate Gosselin are getting a divorce after what's perhaps the most public break-up imaginable.
If you watched their reality show, you got to see a real-life drama of infidelity and break-up happen right before your very eyes.
With years of allowing their family life to be on display for all of us to see, could they have stopped this divorce train from happening.
We think so but here's what they could have done...
1. Off camera, they could have talked honestly about what they each wanted in their relationship and their lives. The keyword here is honesty--without cameras rolling and without acting a part.
2. They would have to take their lives offline for their to be real healing between them. While a public reconciliation and healing would be great to watch--to show others a way to heal their relationships after affairs, somehow we doubt that authentic feelings, words and actions would happen in front of the cameras.
3. Jon and Kate would need to commit to loving each other and to their relationship--and what that meant to each of them. Jon would need to be very honest about why his affair happened and Kate would need to truly listen to him. They would need to find a point where they wanted to move toward the same kind of love and relationship between the two of them and then do what it takes to move in that direction.
4. They would need to rebuild trust with each other by learning how to create agreements and keep them. They would need to learn how to communicate from a very different place than where they are right now.
5. Jon and Kate would need to commit to each other and to their relationship. They would need to put their relationship first and not the television program that has been their lives for so many years.
It looks like Jon and Kate lost their connection with each other in the process of having eight kids and living their lives for all to see. What we saw on the show was of course highly edited--edited for what would help ratings we're sure--and not "real life" but it did show us what can happen to a relationship.
Don't let your relationship be another divorce statistic. Do something today to bring it back on the track of love.
Comments
I need this program because I am in a relationship with a angry man and I sometimes say the wrong things , also there is a lot of jealousy on both our parts. Lots of mistrust and its like walking on eggshells.
I probably need a lot of the programs you offer if I could afford them right now. There has been verbal abuse from him in our 4 yr relationship, and he left me for another woman for 8 months,
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Posted by: sylvia | July 23, 2009 01:39 PM
I need this program because I am in a relationship with a angry man and I sometimes say the wrong things , also there is a lot of jealousy on both our parts. Lots of mistrust and its like walking on eggshells.
I probably need a lot of the programs you offer if I could afford them right now. There has been verbal abuse from him in our 4 yr relationship, and he left me for another woman for 8 months,
thanks
Posted by: sylvia | July 23, 2009 01:39 PM
I need this program because I am in a relationship with a angry man and I sometimes say the wrong things , also there is a lot of jealousy on both our parts. Lots of mistrust and its like walking on eggshells.
I probably need a lot of the programs you offer if I could afford them right now. There has been verbal abuse from him in our 4 yr relationship, and he left me for another woman for 8 months,
thanks
Posted by: sylvia | July 23, 2009 01:41 PM
i'd like this book because i have 'chosen' a couple of crap relatinships and i could use the extra help to re-set my patterns.
thanks
karen
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Posted by: Kathleen Andersen | July 23, 2009 02:18 PM
Hi,
I am a 56 year old woman in a relationship with a person who has NO desire to commit. We have been together for 4 years and he has sent me into therapy and made me an insecure, nervous wreck. Your newsletters and book have been the only thing that have kept me sane. Showing me explanations that make sense to ME and help me realize what the HELL is going on in my life.
I am eagerly awaiting your latest offering and know it will help me survive this emotional rollercoaster whether I end up staying or going. Thank you for saving me from going CRAZY!
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Posted by: Theresa Chalifoux, Edmonton, AB | July 23, 2009 02:43 PM
Sometimes it'd help if there was also enough positive feed back from those around them to push/facilitate a reconciliation; feel that divorce is a cop-out and so much talk about how easy this solution is to end a
"fixable" marriage
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Posted by: Barbara Van Dusen | July 25, 2009 04:34 PM