One of the biggest dating questions that can be pretty confusing to figure out is this...

Is it love or is it lust?

You might feel a terrific connection in the bedroom but wonder if it's really going to go any further than that.

You may even wonder how long this terrific attraction (or lust for each other) will last.

Here are a couple of checklists to know if it's love or is it lust...

1. Lust is satisfying an itch at a surface level and you don't necessarily feel a deep connection, friendship, or want to be with the other person and enjoy their company--outside of the bedroom.

Don't get us wrong--lust is fun and you can experience lust within love--but if there's nothing deeper going on, lust by itself can be pretty shallow.

Check to see if any of these apply to your relationship...

**You only get together every now and then and not necessarily on weekends.
**Your dates always involve making love and end up in the bedroom.
**You don't have a lot to talk about and you don't talk about your future together.
**There is a feeling that something is missing
**You don't feel important outside of the bedroom
**If you raise the topic of commitment, one of you runs.
**You do not share any interests outside of s*e*x

2. Love is in the eye of the beholder so it's important to find out what love means to you.

Make a list of what love means to you and be specific like this...

**You feel important to each other
**Being supportive like a true friend would
**Being honest when you made a mistake
**You want to just be together and doesn't always involve love-making (but can)
**You can talk to one another
**Calling when you're going to be late
**You feel a deep connection
**You are kind toward one another
**You like to touch one another

Check this list against what's happening in this relationship right now--and don't be blind and kid yourself.

Be honest!

Okay, so now that you have a better idea of what's going on, you can make a more conscious choice.

As we said, you can feel lust for each other and be in love--even after many years of being together!

We do.

But you have to have the solid foundation of a love that grows--and be in agreement about what love means.

We invite you to open to the idea that both are available to you and you can have what you want.