You might believe this bold-faced lie about the progression of a love relationship because you've observed it in others and, perhaps, even in your own life with your partner. It could seem like just the way it is. We believe that, yes, people and their love relationships do change and grow. Some days you might feel more romantic and “in love” with your partner than others. But, the overall spark between the two of you does not have to die down or diminish.

Make a shift to re-start the spark

It all can start with a shift. Acknowledge your belief in this bold-faced lie that relationships inevitably lose their passion over time and ask yourself if that belief serves you or your partner. If you would rather live in the excitement, romance and sense of aliveness that you used to experience with your love-- or perhaps that you wish you'd experienced-- then isn't it time to let go of that belief? Begin to open up your mind to the possibility that you and your partner can enjoy the spark of connection and love.

It may feel like the spark you used to share, or it might feel differently. When you allow yourself to even consider that it could be possible to share more passion and excitement with your love, you turn in the direction of actually realizing that as your reality. You don't even have to let your partner know that you've made this shift in your thinking and beliefs; but it could be fun (and more powerful) to turn toward re-starting your spark together!

If you're having a tough time considering how you and your partner might actually live in the connected, alive way you'd like, try this: Don't stop dating your mate.

Create that dating feeling

Perhaps your memories of dating are not very pleasant. You might have frequently felt a fear of rejection (or experienced it), or possibly worried about how fast or slowly to move with this new relationship in the making. Instead, let's focus in on those moments of WOW that you experienced. Even if there weren't many, think about those times when the rest of the world seemed to fade to the background and it felt like just you and this interesting and engaging other person.

Again, if you've never experienced anything close to what we're describing but would like to, then make up your own spark image.

You don't even have to go on a literal “date” with your mate in order to create and maintain a dating feeling between the two of you. Adopt the attitude that you haven't been together as long as you have. Don't assume that you know everything about your partner. Yes, your love's favorite food might have always been lasagne. But perhaps he or she would like to try something new when you go out to eat tonight.

Each and every day, stay curious about new aspects of this “new” person, no matter how mundane or extraordinary the aspect seems. Allow your love to grow and change just as you are doing the same. Always remember to keep discovering the beautiful surprises in each other along the way.

Be playful, bold and daring as you keep that dating feeling alive between yourself and your mate. Surprising one another with symphony tickets, for example, can be fun. Don't limit yourself by what you've always done. On the other hand, don't be afraid to continue doing what is working and keeping you two connected. Be willing to mix it up and even add new twists to some of your relationship traditions. Above all, pay attention to how you are feeling. Watch and enjoy that spark between you and your love revive and flourish!