Relationship Advice for Staying Connected at the Holidays
It's the holiday season which means different things to different people. But chances are, no matter how unique your traditions may be, it's likely that you are busier and perhaps even more stressed out than usual. It's all too easy for the hustle and bustle of your life-- especially during the holidays-- to pull you and your partner away from one another and the connection that you might enjoy when life is calmer and less hectic.
You can keep and even enhance intimacy and closeness no matter how busy you feel. It helps when you stay present, aware and tuned in to yourself and to your love.
Yes, it's a season of joy, but it's also the season for lists, parties, shopping, baking, and socializing with family, friends and co-workers. Any or all of these activities can be happy and fun or they can be tinged with discomfort and even conflict. For example, if you feel like you live on a tight budget, the idea of purchasing or making gifts for everyone you care about may seem stressful or overwhelming. You might also have unresolved issues with your extended family or in-laws that can make even the jolliest of get-togethers miserable.
No matter what it's cause, stress and tension can not only interfere with your happiness and well-being, it can also spill over into your love relationship. How many of us have snapped at our partner about something that has absolutely nothing to do with him or her? It's also difficult to stay tuned in to one another when the usual schedule of time together is interrupted by holiday parties at work, in the neighborhood, friends' homes, etc.
Let's face it. Life is often busy enough that finding quality intimate time with your mate might be a challenge. But when you add onto that challenge the “demands” of the holiday season, it becomes even tougher.
There is hope! Try these tips for staying connected and close-- even during busy times like the holidays.....
Tip #1: Keep communicating.
While communication may not sound very sensual or passionate, without it your connection can suffer or be diminished. No matter how busy you feel like you are, make your love relationship a priority. After all, once presents have been unwrapped and all of the egg nog has been consumed, you still want to be in a close, connected relationship with this person!
Stay present when you are talking with your partner-- even if it's about something that seems insignificant or less important. As tempting as it is to multi-task, try not to do it. At the very least, make sure that you and your love have at least one conversation each day that involves just the two of you focusing solely on one another. Listen and share with love and attentiveness.
Tip #2: Keep making agreements.
As you communicate with one another, make agreements and check in with one another about old agreements so that you both feel empowered and excited about the holiday experience you create together. Don't assume that just because you've always celebrated the holidays in a certain way, your partner wants to continue. Be open to potentially new ways to share the season.
Let's say that every year in the past, you and your partner have stayed overnight for the holiday at your cousin's home for dinner and to exchange gifts. Your expectation might be that, of course, this is what you and your mate will do this year as well. We encourage you to talk about this with your partner before making firm plans. It might be that your love would like to do something different this year. Keep yourself open to possibilities so that you two can both create the experience you want and stay connected at the same time.
Tip #3: Keep connecting.
Continue to make time for the ways that you and your love stayed close before this busy time began. You might choose to alter your usual routine to accommodate a fuller schedule, but don't let your “together” time be completely pushed aside. Perhaps you and your love go out for dinner and a movie every Friday night. This might be a difficult date to keep as parties and shopping fill up the calendar. Instead, you two might set aside a different night each week where you stay home, cuddle up on the couch together and have your movie night in.
It doesn't matter if you two are walking the dog together every evening or perhaps are cooking dinner with one another. What's most important is that you keep doing things together and that you both stay tuned in to the moment and to each other while doing whatever you are doing.
This sense of presence and priority even in the midst of busier than usual times, can help you and your love stay connected, close and enhance intimacy.
