Absolutely not. Although if you read the definitions for “space” and “distance” in the dictionary you might find that the definitions for these two words are similar, when it comes to your relationship, they are quite different. When there is distance between you and your love, there is usually a sense that there is a block or wall between you two. Communication just doesn't seem to flow easily and misunderstandings can happen frequently. Sometimes one or both of you are jealous, fearful or angry much of the time.

Basically, when there is distance between you and your mate, neither of you is very happy and you certainly don't get to enjoy a feeling of connectedness very often if you do at all.

Space, however, is a totally different story.

Have you ever watched a candle flame? After you've ignited the candle's wick, if you put a snuffer over the flame the fire is smothered and goes out. If, instead, you stand back and admire the ignited flame-- giving it plenty of room-- it usually remains lit.

You and your love-- and everyone else in the world-- each have an inner spark. It can be smothered and even completely extinguished. Of course, we can smother or put out our own inner sparks through the choices we make. But those who are close to us also can have an effect. Conversely, we can do what it takes to listen within and nurture our individual sparks and allow them to grow and flourish. Those we love can support and positively affect that nurturing.

When you allow space between yourself and your partner, you are creating room for that nurturing of each person's inner spark to happen. And you probably know that when you are feeling nurtured and free to be the best you, you can be, you almost always come to your relationships in a more open spirit. This usually makes communicating—even about the tough stuff-- flow easier. It can also make sharing passion and love a deeper, more satisfying experience.

Create space for yourself.

One way to create space in your relationship is to give yourself permission to know what you want and allow yourself to expand as you change and grow. Sometimes, especially in long-term relationships, there is a fear that, “If I change, my partner will be left behind or feel threatened and we will grow apart.” Perhaps you've seen this happen in other relationships and have perceived change to be the culprit. In order to “protect” your relationship, you may have even vowed never to change. This is just not realistic or conducive to connection!

We are evolving beings and when you ignore your own natural inclinations to change, grow and expand, the results are usually unhappiness and dissatisfaction. It's time to let change off the hook and realize that the changes you make in your life can (and often do) have positive effects on not only yourself, but also your relationship and your mate. Again, when you are nurturing your inner spark and giving it space to grow and flourish, you usually come to your partner and relationship a more open and happy person.

Create space for your partner.

Just like that candle flame being snuffed out, it's likely that we've all felt crowded and hovered over by someone else at one point in our lives-- it was probably even a loved one who was crowding us. Remember that and make it your intention not to crowd or hover over your mate. Again, you may have worries or concerns that giving space will lead to trouble. As we've pointed out before, the opposite is almost always the case.

To create and allow space for your partner means that you have to trust him or her. If a sense of mistrust is contributing to you hovering over and limiting your partner, look closely at what unresolved issues or beliefs are behind the mistrust and then work to turn trust around. Ultimately, take the steps you need to take to allow your love to nurture his or her inner spark.

You can take it one moment at a time. When you feel called to explore something new (or perhaps something old that you didn't follow up on), do it. Give your love that same allowance from a place of trust and encouragement. Let your heart, rather than fears or worries, guide you. Be sure to watch for signs of ease and connection between you two as you practice creating space.