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Speed Dating: Is it possible to find Mr.or Ms. Right?

speed.jpg It only takes a few minutes to know if you've found your perfect match. Well, that's the hope and an intention behind the practice of speed dating. This manner of meeting potential mates usually involves a structured and timed setting in a restaurant, bar or other location where participants have a series of 3-8 minute mini-dates with various people they don't know or have just met. Speed dating has been portrayed in movies and tv shows and maybe you're wondering if this is the way you can finally find your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Is it possible to find a partner-- even your soul mate-- in such a short span of time? Is this a good idea in the first place or are you just asking for trouble? Speed dating has been billed as a great fit for matchmaking in our high-speed society.

We confess, we've never experienced speed dating, but we can offer suggestions and advice based on what we have learned about relationships and attracting the partner of your dreams. These love lessons have come from personal experience as well as from years of coaching relationship clients and listening to our many readers.

Perhaps the biggest point we want to make is that, in our opinion, speed dating is neither the magic answer to finding love nor is it necessarily a wrong way turn in the often confusing path on which dating can take you. You never know where or when you'll attract the partner and relationship you've been wanting. It could just as easily be a slowly-developing friendship turned romance with someone you knew in high school or literally a love at first sight encounter during a speed date.

Here's Renee's speed dating experience...

Renee can't believe she let her friends drag her to this speed date night at a local cafe. Yes, Renee would like to be in a relationship and misses having a special someone to share her life with, but this just seems ridiculous.

After all, how can you find a truly meaningful relationship in a 5 minute interaction? Despite her misgivings about this whole thing, Renee finds herself nervous and feeling self-conscious. What if there actually is a man she's interested in at this event? And, worse yet, what if he doesn't find her attractive or interesting? As she takes a sip of coffee and prepares for the speed dating to begin, Renee's stomach churns.

If you're looking for love, focus more on staying open...

During those few minutes while speed dating, relax and make it your first intention to have a good time. Don't work so hard at “finding” or “looking for” love. Instead, stay open and aware of how you feel when with this person. Perhaps he or she doesn't look like someone you'd expect to date. Or maybe his or her job or life is different than yours and you just can't see yourself with a mate like this.

Try not to close down when finding out information or seeing a face that is not what you think you're looking for. Instead, suspend your judgments for these few minutes. When the mini-date is over, you can decide whether you'd like to get to know even more about this person or if you'll take a pass.

Renee manages to take a deep breath before her first speed date begins. She tries to keep her attention on merely meeting new people rather than finding her Mr. Right. This helps ease her nervousness and takes some pressure off.

Be honest and the fabulous you that you are...

Resist any inclinations to pretend to be anything other than who you are. Perhaps you feel like your life just isn't all that enthralling and you want to spice yourself up with a few exaggerations or fibs. Don't do it! In the movies it may seem easy, fun and impressive to pretend to be a doctor when you're not but is this really how you want to start a potential relationship?

Instead, be honest about who you are and proud too! Of course, nobody likes a braggart, but it's equally a turn off to be with someone who can't stand who he or she is. Before you start a speed date, give yourself a pep talk and celebrate the really unique and great things about you. You don't have to list them off to your date; they will shine through.

Towards the end of the evening, Renee feels tired but also exhilarated. She's actually had fun with this speed dating thing. She met some interesting guys-- even a few she'd like to get to know better-- and she's taken a step toward attracting the relationship she's always wanted.

Relax and have fun whether you choose to speed date or engage in some other form of dating. It's all about getting to know people, letting others know how wonderful you are, and recognizing when you match up with another. Let your feelings be your guide about the level and kind of connection you want with those you are meeting. When you feel great and alive around him or her, that's probably your cue to keep going!

Want to attract your soul mate to you? Visit http://www.relationshipattractorfactor.com

Comments

Hi Susie & Otto,

Interesting post this. In My opinion 8 minutes is hardly enough time to size up anyone. 4 minutes each is not enough to tell a person about yourself no is it? Your blog is a superb relationhip resource. I would really appreciate your feedback on mine if you get the time.

Blessings

Richard

Hi,

I've done speed dating before for a university psychology experiment actually. and i must say, 5 minutes really was not enough for me to remember someone enough to want to know them better. I think the process was fun, but i seriously doubt that many meaningful relationships come out of it.

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