Flirting: What to do about a husband who flirts
A woman who bought our newly released "Stop Talking on Eggshells" package wrote to us and asked a question that we're sure many women (and men) are dealing with-
She said that her husband was good looking, funny and women especially liked him. She thought that they were flirting with him but has noticed that he is actually flirting with them by winking at them! His actions hurt her and she feels like he would rather be with them instead of her. She wanted to know whether she should ignore it or not.
Here's what we told her...
Start working on going through the "Stop Talking on Eggshells" material--the guidebook and audios. Be sure to answer the questions and practice the strategies we give you. All this material--if you practice it--will help
you in your situation. I don't know if your husband will stop flirting with other women but I do know that it will help you to feel better about yourself and know what you want.
If you were our coaching client, there are many things that we could work on and go deeper--but right now, we would advise you, along with working on the eggshells material, to decide what you want in your marriage and start moving toward that. It looks like your marriage needs some attention right now.
Instead of focusing on his flirting, begin focusing on what YOU want in your marriage--not what you don't want.
Instead of complaining about his flirting, how can the two of you become closer? Do you want to go out to dinner with him every week--just the two of you? Do you want to spend time every night with him? Ask for that--not as a complaint but from the idea that you want to be with him. Look at how you can strengthen your marriage from the inside and see where that takes you.
If he doesn't respond to your openness (read the section in the guidebook on opening first) and if he doesn't seem to want to get closer to you--or get the help of a coach or therapist, then you have to decide how
important closeness and connection is to you.You have to decide whether to stay in your marriage the way it currently is.
It's been said that jealousy is seeing someone else get what you want--so shift gears and quit looking outside at others and look at what's inside your marriage and go for what you want.
We're not saying that you have to put up with or ignore behavior that doesn't respect you. If he continues and doesn't want to change, you have to decide if this is how you want to be treated. But first, put some energy in revitalizing your love and marriage.
