Building trust after there's been infidelity can take time--but more than that, it's takes commitment on the part of both people.

Here's a question from one of our readers...

"How can you trust your partner if at one point in time infidelity became part of your relationship?"

Our answer:
Trust is pretty subjective so the first thing we would tell you to do is to get clear about what you mean by the word "trust."

For example--trust that the two of you are going to work on your relationship to reconnect, trust that the affair is over, trust that the two of you will decide the future of your relationship after a certain period of time.

You can only start trusting when you both know what you both want and where you are headed with your relationship.

Take it a step at a time--such as making sure that there is a commitment that the affair is over. What does that look like?

Talk about if the two of you want to revitalize your relationship and to what extent you both are willing to do that.

What's a beginning step to moving toward one another?

Don't try to do "trust" in one shot. take it one commitment at a time. Create your commitments and then follow through on them. If you can take a step forward, do it. If not, don't.

When you look at regaining trust after infidelity, it looks like something that's overwhelming and not possible.

When you break it down into small commitments, it becomes less so.

Get clear first and then work out what being trustable would look like.