Christmas night, as we were driving home from a holiday celebration at Otto's parent's house (about a two
hour's drive from where we live), a very large deer ran in front of our car and we hit it. Hard.

The accident could have been much worse than it was and we were grateful that we weren't hurt. We could continue driving the car, although the damage to the right side was considerable.

What we discovered is that this "jolt" from the deer running into our car pulled us rather abruptly from our thoughts of all the things that had gone on throughout the past few days into what was happening in the present moment.

Our focus had to change to dealing with the present circumstances, like assessing the damage to the car and reporting the accident to the State Highway patrol.

We had to quit the "I wish I had..." or "Why did I..." thoughts of what happened in the past and just focus on what we needed to do in the present moment.

Think about how valuable this change of focus would be for you to do (without the accident), especially at this time as you approach the beginning of a new year

You, we and in fact all of us can let go of the thoughts that have held us back.

Thoughts like guilt, blame, judgment and anything else that limits us and our relationships--and focus on what is possible and what we want in this coming new year.

Whether you consciously create new year's resolutions or not, if you're like most people, as the new year approaches, you have thoughts of what you want either more of or less of in the coming year.

In order to create more vibrant, alive, loving relationships and to live a better life, we suggest that you take a few moments to think about what you want.

Here are a few ideas to help you do that and to be more successful in keeping your new year's resolutions...

1. Go beyond your edge.
The good stuff in our relationships and our lives always gets created and happens "beyond your edge" of what is comfortable.

What was once difficult is now easy (or at least easier.) This is called by many names but in essence what we're talking about is expanding your comfort zone or "norm."

2. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

This might seem like a contradiction considering what we just said about going beyond your edge. But it isn't.

Choose one relationship or one area of your life that you would like to improve.

It may be a truly troubled relationship with someone close to you or it might be that you want a closer connection with your partner in a relationship that's already good.

It might be that you want to spend more time with your family or work more efficiently at your job or even to find a job that will be more in alignment with what you want.

Whatever it is, make a conscious choice to improve that relationship or area of your life in this coming year.

3. Choose one thing that you could do on a consistent basis that would make a difference in this relationship or in this area of your life.

It might be to focus more on what you appreciate or love about this person instead of what has happened in the past.

It might be to spend more time interacting with this person instead of watching television or cruising the internet.

It might be to just listen to what this person needs to tell you and you say what you need to say--from your heart.

It might be to take one step--like doing some research--about a job that you think you might like.

It might be to forgive yourself or someone else for what happened in the past.

4. Stay in the present moment and don't allow yourself to "live" in the past. Keep moving toward your goal and what you want more of in your life instead of what you don't want.

Worry, blame, judgment, control, sarcasm, fear will only keep you stuck in what "has been."

Choose to create something new and maybe even wonderful by focusing on what you can do right now in this present moment instead of dwelling on what you wish had happened or not happened in the past.

If we all choose to do this, perhaps we won't need a "jolt" (like hitting a deer) to bring us into creating what we want in our present.