What Relationship Advice We Learned from "Dancing with the Stars"
We have a confession to make.
We also have a few observations we'd like to share with you about something related to our confession that can help you create more passionate, loving, caring, and connected relationships.
So, what's our confession?
We've been addicted to the ABC hit reality television show "Dancing With The Stars."
We know. We know. We're revealing who we really are by telling you this and it's true.
Otto watched several of the shows and Susie watched almost every episode of this year's "Dancing With the Stars" --including of course this week's finale.
It turns out that we were not alone. The show's ratings tell us that somewhere between 24 and 27 million people tuned in each night.
WOW.
So what was it that made this show so interesting that so many people dropped what they were doing to tune in?
Also, since we're students of relationships (and what makes them work when they work), we were curious about what we could learn from the show to help others, as well as to make our relationships better.
Here are several tips about how to create great relationships and connect deeper with the people in your life that came to us as we were thinking about this very popular reality series...
1. Get out of your own dramas
On "Dancing With The Stars," there was spectacular dancing, beautiful costumes and beautiful people to watch but there was also a lot more too.
There was drama.
We mean how much more dramatic can you get than Marie Osmond passing out on live national television?
What's interesting is what this says about all of us.
For the most part, no matter where we're from, we're addicted to "drama," even in our personal lives.
Most of us love "drama" so much that we can't seem to get enough of it. When everything seems to be going alongfairly calmly, we do something that creates or adds some drama to our lives.
We've actually been with couples who will say things they may not even mean or say things that may not be so kind to each other just to get each other "going a little bit" or create some drama or "spark" between them.
This is can make for an interesting relationship, but it usually doesn't serve us in creating one that is closer and more connected.
So when "drama" comes up between the two of you, stop and observe what's really going on between the two of you.
2.Make connection your relationship goal
The stars on the show did a great job of connecting with us, the audience, during their dances, as well as other times they were on camera.
We felt like we knew them, we cared for them and in some ways we hated to see the final show end.
It was the tangible feeling of connection with these stars that would no longer be.
That's one of the reasons that the show was such a success.
As a society, we're ALL hungry for connection, even when we get it from a television show.
We long for intimacy.
Not just the kind of intimacy we enjoy in the bedroom, but, true, genuine intimacy with the people in our lives.
We suggest that you begin looking at the people in your life and how you can form deeper, more meaningful connections with them.
3. Have fun and make sure that humor is always available to you.
Both couples who made this week's "Dancing With the Stars" finals said that they actually had fun, laughed a lot together--and that laughter got them through the difficult spots.
This chemistry that was created in part by having fun and laughing together showed in their dancing--which just made all of us feel good too.
So the question for you might be...
How can you lighten up and have more fun with the people in your life? If you do, it will make a difference in your
relationships and will brighten the day of every one you meet.
4. Open yourself to stretching beyond what you think is possible
In one of the interviews in last night's final show, one of the stars said that by participating in the competition and
pushing herself to do her best, she had learned that she could do things she never thought possible.
She said that she was a better person for going through it all.
How many of us think we can't have what we want in our relationships and our lives?
If we open to the idea that we can stretch beyond what we think is possible, anything can happen.
Life can be even greater than it already is!
5. Adopt the attitude of kindness, openness and caring
It was really clear to us that both finalists in this competition had an openness about them and were genuinely kind, caring people.
This also came out during the interviews with people who talked about the two star finalists, as well as during their dancing and off-stage film clips.
As observers of human nature, the two of us can't help but notice when two people who are in a committed relationship treat each other in unkindly ways and what that does to their relationship.
This often comes from familiarity and a belief that "he/she is my partner and I can treat him/her that way" or "that's just the way we are."
We're saying that kindness does matter, no matter who you are with or how long you have been together.
We invite you to look at one relationship where you might be a little kinder and more loving--especially as the holidays approach.
As always, we encourage you to see what happens when you open yourself to giving more love.
We think you'll be amazed at what happens.
We hope these tips have been valuable to you and (of course) we'll see you on the dance floor!
