The two of us attended a wonderful couples workshop this past weekend given by Sabine Grandke-Taft and
we would be safe to say that every couple there, including us, experienced what we would all call peak relationship experiences.

For many couples after experiencing those peak moments, the question becomes this...

"How do we bring more of that into our lives?"

Whether you are currently single or in an intimate relationship, we're sure that you've experienced what you might consider a peak relationship moment or moments sometime in your life and you've wondered the same thing.

Maybe it was a honeymoon or anniversary get-away, a walk in the rain with your beloved, a delicious dinner
out, or a particular steamy bedroom experience. It might even have been a moment when the two of you looked at each other in a certain way.

Whatever it was, it was very pleasing, exciting and you felt close and connected with your partner or even with someone else.

So how do you recapture the magic of the peak experience and keep it going?

Here are a few suggestions and what we do on a regular basis to keep our peak moments going...

1. Ask yourself and your partner--"What does a peak relationship experience mean to me?" It might be
different for each of you but if you look underneath, you both may want the same things. For us, our peak moments are when we feel close and connected, whether it's in or out of our bedroom. It's moments when we are truly open and loving with each other.

2. When you find out what you both want more of, look at how you created it once. While it's probably not practical to go off to a cabin in the woods without the kids every weekend, it is possible to take 30 minutes and do something together to show how special you each are to one another. Take 30 minutes, find ways to relax with one another (without the television) and show your love for each other with words or touch.

3. Begin looking for ways to please one another and to create good feelings between the two of you. Begin changing your belief that maybe it is possible to have more of what you want--more openness, more love, more kindness--more of anything.

We've carried our peak experiences of the weekend home with us. Yesterday, we both had unusual physical aches and pains for some reason or another and it would have been very easy for us to do and say things that would separate us.

But we didn't.

We stayed open to each other and stayed connected.

Will we always be loving toward each other?

Of course not.

But what we are committed to doing is making our peak experiences more the norm for our relationship.

When we are having a peak experience, we are always looking for ways to integrate it into our lives and claim this as a higher standard for our relationship. This is one of the big reasons why we have the incredible relationship that we do--because we are always trying how to repeat the peak experiences in our life.

Our loving advice to you is to start where you are and take one step toward what you want.

Then when you experience anything that is better, more fun, more exciting or more joyful, we encourage you to look at how you can do what we do and make it "normal and natural" and also a part of your daily or moment-to-moment experience.

You'll be glad you did.