How to Have Happy, Healthy Relationships and Lives
Listen as we share how this story relates to you and how it can help you make your relationships better.
Imagine for a moment this scenario from last night...
Some of our family members were here to visit and to see our new house that we just moved into and as is
typical when family and friends get together, the stories started flying.
In fact, one person told a story that happened when he was 9 years old that was amazing.
He told us that his mom drove by herself with four small children (he and his siblings) from the east coast of the
USA to one of the western states that was well over 2000 miles away .
During this trip, because his mom was the only one old enough to drive, she kept falling asleep at the wheel, actually ending up in the weeds a few times.
Thankfully, they arrived safely at their home and it certainly made for a great story but here's what this has to do with you and your relationships...
After everyone left, the two of us began to think about what a challenge it is to consistently keep your (and our)
"relationship wheels" on the road and not run our relationship into the weeds, where we don't want to be.
To carry this car analogy a little further--
If the goal or intention in life is fun, joy, connection, growth and happiness, then it might be helpful to think of our relationships as important vehicles that can carry us along that road.
If the road is the path to happiness and our relationships are like our cars and trucks--and are vehicles for taking us on that road to happiness, joy and connection--then it might be important every once in a while to take a look at the following question concerning our relationships and life...
What keeps us on the "road" to what we want or where we want to go in our relationships and lives and what
takes us off?
Here are some things that take us off...
1. We go to sleep (as our guest's mom did).
We get caught up in our lives and we forget what's really important to us--or maybe we just get tired.
2. We are afraid.
A friend of ours is afraid to drive on the freeways in our city because at one time in her life, she caused a 7-car
pile-up. She uses the back roads to get wherever she's going, even though it takes her a lot longer. She allows
fear of the past and the memory of past experiences to hold her back--just as we all do when it comes to our
relationships. We don't go for what we want because we're afraid.
3. We put off looking at and fixing what's not working. Have you ever known that you needed to take your
car to a mechanic because something was wrong with it and you just kept putting off the inevitable?
Susie did that with a previous car when she had issues with her brakes. The damage that happened because she neglected addressing the problem ended up costing her quite a bit more in repairs.
We talk with people every day who have "put off" addressing problems in their relationships and sometimes, it's too late for that relationship.
Okay, so what keeps us ON the relationship road that can give us peace, love, joy, happiness and connection?
1. Focusing your energy on how your partner or loved one does show up for you. You've heard it before but if you're like us, we need to hear it again--focus on what you want more of.
2. Spend time together talking and laughing. This morning, we spent extra time together hugging and talking before we started our day. We're each taking separate trips and won't see each other for several days so even though we are usually together 24/7, we wanted to spend some extra, quality moments together before we left.
This time of laughing, talking and loving is part of the "cement" that makes our life and relationship so good--and we highly recommend it.
3. Honor each other's gifts and who he/she truly is. We all want to be loved for who we truly are and there is no better gift to give someone than to acknowledge what that gift means in your life. Take the time to ask yourself how this other person enriches your life.
This morning, we told each other how our lives are happier, better and richer because we are together.
This isn't unusual for us but surprisingly it is for many people.
We invite you to do the same with the important people in your life. Be sure you tell them how important they are to you and how much of a difference they make in your life.
It's not enough to love and appreciate the people in your life, you have to tell them and show them.
Comments
Whoa, you guys have a blog now?! That's fantastic, I must subscribe!
I found your websites a couple of years ago, and anxiously awaited every email you send!! Then I finally broke up with my ex, and I stopped reading your mails, which I am so sorry for! I was looking for someone's email on my Spam, and found your emails... Pfft, they're coming right out of there, and I'm going to read them all one by one. I love the work you do, thank you so much !
Posted by: Luyza | October 4, 2007 10:51 AM
Thank you for this post. It was exactly what my wife and I needed to hear. Healthy relationships, are undervalued these days. No one really expects marriages to last, so why work at making them healthy? What a pity that people feel that way.
I could understand that people may say, for instance, colon cleansing, is something that doesn't have to be worried about. But a health colon, like a healthy marriage, needs to be attended to. Many colon cleanse products are available, so really its just a matter of finding the right colon cleanse product to use. Colon cleanse is just as important as a healthy marriage.
Thanks for this wonderful topic about healthy relationships.
Posted by: Chris Garcia | November 1, 2007 01:03 PM