While these ideas are not in any particular order and certainly aren't the only ones we use to create the close, connected relationship we have, they are applicable for any type of relationship.

We offer them to you here as examples of how you can make some simple shifts to create stronger, more loving relationships.

Don't discount their simplicity, because their simplicity is part of their power to create the kind of relationships you probably want more of...

Idea or Approach # 1 Honesty

You may think that honesty as a "philosophy" is something that is a "given" in relationships and pretty obvious. But in many relationships, it isn't.

Even though there may be a lot of love in the relationship, one person may not feel safe being honest and may not trust that he/she will be fully understood. So there's a lot that isn't said and a lot that is assumed. When there are assumptions, resentments usually follow.

Emotional honesty is sometimes the most difficult kind of honesty to deal with. But what we've discovered is that when we know what we are feeling, we are better able to interact with others and each other from a place of love and connection. When we are not trying to hide our feelings from ourselves or others, we are better able to move through difficulties.

Committing to emotional honesty, first with yourself, is a very positive step toward creating your life and relationships the way you want.

Next...

#2 Willingness to Open to Each Other

The degree that you are able to open yourself to another is the degree of safety and trust that the two of you have between you. A man we know told us that he had noticed that his teenage son was starting to share with him his hopes, dreams, conflicts and much more.

When we asked him what had changed between him and his son, he said that he had quit trying to "fix" it for his son and instead, he has learned to simply listen to him. The two of them are much more willing to open to one another because there is a new-found trust between them. There's also much more ease and flow in their relationship.

In every relationship, we can choose to open a little deeper to one another to allow more trust, love and connection.

How can you open more?

This is the third idea we'll share with you...

#3 Always Have And Keep A Commitment to Connection.

When you commit to connection, you have to challenge your "stories," your defensiveness, being right and anything else that separates the two of you.

Committing to connection means paying attention when you get triggered and telling yourself something positive about your relationship or your true feelings for the person. At these times, it's also helpful to remind yourself that you have made the commitment to connecting and keeping that connection strong.

When the two of us become disconnected for some reason or another, one of the best ways we use to regain our connection as quickly as possible is to simply remember that we've made a commitment to do
so.

Our commitment to connection is important to us and we think that it's a great way make any relationship better.

Would a commitment to connection be a positive step that you could take in your relationship?

Probably so.

What we have discovered is that it takes no more energy and effort to work through issues, upsets and challenges than it does to stay upset and keep yourself distant and disconnected.

So... with our way of looking at it-- if it requires the same amount of effort to create a connected relationship as a disconnected one, why not go ahead and go for the best?

That's what we do and what we recommend you do as well if you want connection instead of disconnection more of the time.