1. Make time for romance and love in your relationship. It’s too easy to give love making a low priority as the lists of life stack up. Couples like this may intend to get to it when things calms down, but it just doesn’t happen. You have to create time in your life for what’s important to you. And, if intimate time together is important, make time for it. Perhaps spontaneity just won’t work for you, instead block out time for a “love date” and make sure nothing gets in the way of that date.

2. Honestly communicate with your partner and yourself if you don’t feel like making love. Sometimes it’s not as simple as it sounds to do this. Whether real or imagined, physical ailments can get in the way of intimacy. Sometimes you may feel too tired or just not in the mood for love making. Whatever the case, be honest in letting your partner know what’s going on and then set up a time when you know you’ll feel better or have more time to connect. If you are experiencing disconnection from your partner, don’t make excuses like “I have a headache.” Face the issue honestly with your partner and you will undoubtedly feel improvement.

3. Let go all concerns—whether it’s the kids, work, or other things—and focus on each other. Clear all extraneous worries, fears, or other thoughts from your mind when lovemaking. If this isn’t possible, tell your partner what’s going on and then go make time for clarity. Take a walk or other activity that will allow for this. You may need to work with your partner on an issue or problem that is distracting you. Deal with that first, then shift your focus to the love you share.

Creating more passion in your love making can happen for you and these are just a few ideas to try. Opening up to new ways and skills will allow your relationship to deepen.