Advice for a Closer Love Relationship
You may not be aware of it, but one of the reasons that couples pull apart from one another and they can't seem to talk without an argument is that they don't listen to what's inside them. We've written a lot about how to create a red hot love relationship and of the "secrets" that we've discovered is to learn how to listen to yourself.
Here's what happened to Otto...
We had decided to upgrade our 4-year old television to a flat screen tv. It's not that we spend a lot of time watching television, but we do enjoy sports, movies and concert dvds. We knew that a new flat screen would add to our enjoyment and it would be fun to see Bruce Springsteen's sweat flying everywhere as he performed!
Otto spent several hours on Saturday looking at offers that various stores in our area were giving. After getting so far as giving his credit card info to the sales person in one store, Otto walked out, not finishing the buying process. He listened to his inner warnings about this "deal" and went to another store, buying that television.
So what does this have to do with creating close, connected, even "hot" relationships?
Plenty.
If you don't take the time to learn to first pay attention when your inner voice is trying to tell you something and then act on it, you won't know what you want. You also won't be able to tell someone else what you want.
Your habit may be to "please" your partner by simply agreeing--and then resentment rears its ugly head! Resentment can come up as sarcasm, stony silence or mean remarks.
Whatever separates you and your partner--it all starts with not listening to your inner guidance.
Is it sometimes difficult to do?
Sure.
You have to ask yourself if that thought is a "should." If it is, then you have to ask yourself what will be the result if you go ahead and do it, as opposed to doing what you'd really like to do.
It might be agreeing to go somewhere that you really don't want to go just because your partner wants to go there. We're all for doing things for each other but when the result is resentment, withdrawal or cutting remarks--it simply isn't a healthy way to run a relationship.
Be honest with yourself and there might be an alternative way to spend time together or whatever is being asked of you that you both can enjoy.
Take the time to get to know yourself. Stop yourself from automatically saying "yes" or worse yet, not saying anything and leaving the decision up to someone else. Stop, Breathe and then respond from the deepest part of you. If you do, you relationship or marriage has a much better chance of being alive and growing.
