Jealousy: How to Deal with a Partner's Jealousy
One of the most frustrating relationship problems happens when your partner becomes jealous--especially when you've done nothing in your mind to deserve the jealousy. You may try reassuring your partner over and over but they never seem to trust you. You may even eventually withdraw from doing things that you love for fear that your partner will get the wrong idea or feel insecure.
As Relationship Coaches, we hear from people who are in this situation how they are frustrated, unhappy and just want their relationship to be "normal" or "the way it used to be." In fact, we're giving a two-part teleseminar series to give some practical suggestions if you're in this type of situation.
Whether you sign up for the teleseminar or not, there's one thing that will help your situation...
It's the one thing that almost no one is willing to do to deal with the jealousy that's hanging over their relationship and create a better relationship and a better life.
This one thing is-- taking responsibility for having jealousy as an issue in your relationship and making the commitment to heal the issue no matter what.
We know what you’re saying right now…
“I know it’s a problem but it’s his/her problem--not mine.”
While it is true that you are not the jealous one, it is a problem in your life and if you are still reading this article, you want it to change. Even though you aren’t the jealous one, you have to take responsibility and make the commitment to healing it in your life.
After working with hundreds of individuals and couples to help them overcome jealousy, we can absolutely tell you one thing about overcoming jealousy...
Without taking responsibility for having the issue and making the commitment to healing it, your partner’s jealousy will never go away. It will just continue to hurt like pouring salt into an open wound until you make the decision to once and for all do something about it.
So what can you do?
You can begin by listening to your partner--truly listening and not dismissing what he/she says. Try to listen for the heart of what is being said. It might be that he/she wants more of your attention. Truly listen without being judgemental and without saying out loud or to yourself, "But I already give him/her a lot of attention."
Search your heart for how you have pulled away from your partner or closed down to him/her. It doesn't mean that you have to fulfill everything that your partner is wanting or lacking in their lives but it does mean that you are examining how you are willing to open to your partner--or if you are willing to open.
Healing jealousy takes patience and it takes being willing to open. It takes being willing to make changes in your life and get help if you need it.
Know that jealousy can be healed if you truly want it to be.
