Both of Us are Jealous--Now What?
Here's a question we received a couple of days ago and we thought that our answer might be of general interest to many couples in similar situations. Here's this woman's question...
"My boyfriend and I have a jealousy problem. We are both older and in previous relationships have been cheated on and left heart broken. I enjoy his company but we both do not want to get married and have seperate living quaters. We have been spending less time together and need suggestions on how to work thru theese feelings so we can grow stronger together. Please help!"
The truth is that until you both learn to heal your beliefs about yourself and your partner you will both just keep attracting the same kind of situation to you until you do. You seem open to making some changes so let's get started...
First of all, get on the same page if at all possible. Agree that you both have these issues and that you're going to do everything you can to heal them. If your partner isn't wiling to agree to any of this, then decide that you're going to begin healing yourself. Do not get married until you are moving into resolving some of these issues.
Next, look at your previous relationships in a different light. What did you learn or how did you benefit or grow when you were in those relationships and even going through the experience of being left? Start focusing on what you learned about yourself instead of hanging on to being victims. We suspect that you're both trying to "out-victim" each other and all it's doing is keeping both of you stuck. So begin to unstick yourselves by changing the way you view these past relationships. It doesn't mean that the person was "right" to do what he/she did. It just means that you are choosing not to be a victim any longer.
Decide what kind of relationship that you want and start moving toward it. Until you start focusing on what you want instead of what you don't want, you will stay stuck in the past.
There are all sorts of techniques that you can use and some of those you can learn in our mini-course for our No More Jealousy program. The mini-course is free and we welcome you to sign up.
Begin to move forward to a more empowering future! You can heal jealousy, many have done it, and we invite you to join them!
