Separation--Knowing When It's Time to Call it Quits
Today we received this question and thought it was a good one for us to give a few comments...
"I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years- we were friends for five years before we dated. For the last year he has become rather difficult - not affectionate, when i talk about affection he gets angry and says I am not happy with him - I talk about us going out on dates - he gets irritated - he gets irritated easily anyway - stressed - I fell in love with this man cause he is a Christian or claims to be, His 17 year old daughter is rude to me and i talk to him about it and he tells me to talk to her - We are not married - so I feel it is his place to talk to her - a few weeks ago - we were talking and he told me i was not marriage or mom material - I raised two boys by myself on $10,000/year, they were in 4h and sports - then later he denies saying it. He says can you see something like that coming out of my mouth - well you said it, we had a discussion about it. Meanwhile, because I was upset about that - he told me he needed his space - I cannot hangout with him and his kids anymore - I have my dogs at his house and I had a fish tank at his house. I got the fish tank yesterday - He does not understand why I cannot sit with him at church anymore or why I have to move my dogs - 5 years of friendship and he just shuts it off. We also went to the Song of Solomon couples counseling. PLEASE HELP ME"
Here's our advice to this woman and any other person in her situation...
You seem to be getting a lot of signals that this relationship is over and you have a choice whether to pay attention to them or not. Look at the way you are describing how you are being treated by this "friend." You need to ask yourself if this is the way you would want a friend to treat you (let alone a partner) and if you would treat a friend this way.
It's high time for you to look at what you want in a relationship and decide if this is it or not. We do not hear that this man is wanting to "work on your relationship" or even be kind to you. He is telling you in many ways that he doesn't want to be with you--and you know what? You deserve more than this.
The person that you need to convince is yourself! You need to gather the courage and the strength to know in your heart that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated with respect and kindness--and that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.
So gather your courage and let this man go his own way--and you go yours.
