Relationship Advice from a Round of Golf
A few years ago, Otto had the opportunity to learn some powerful relationship advice and life lessons on a golf
course. We were having a mini-family reunion and Otto and a cousin Gary, a successful banking executive, played golf nearly all day on Saturday.
Whenever Otto is in the company of someone who is successful, he likes to play "20 Questions" to find out all he can about why and how that person is successful. That's what Otto did that day and what he learned from someone who isn't particularly "spiritual" or a "relationship expert" was remarkable.
Along with answering Otto's questions, Gary, an excellent golfer, put into practice what he was saying. When Gary would hit a ball in the sand or into the "rough," he would find something positive to say about the poor shot.
He explained that this is what he does in all aspects of his life. No matter how bad a situation is, he said he will find something good about it.
We think that if you apply Gary's way of looking at life to your relationships, they will be much better.
The great motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar said many years ago that if you continually look for the good in others that that is what you will find--more good in the world. This sounds very simple but it's often difficult to do.
Do you dwell on the negative aspects in your relationships or do you look at what's positive?
Do you complain to your friends about the negative qualities of your mate or someone in your life?
We know from experience that if you do dwell on the negative, that's what you'll get more of. We also know, that if you find that positive aspect about that person who irritates you, that relationship will improve
This is not Pollyanna or Pie-in-the -sky. We have tried it and it works.
At the time, we had been having challenges with Otto's 11 year old son and every weekend he was with us ended in a negative spiral. We would talk about him behind his back and say things like... "Why won't he pick his clothes up off the floor?" and "Why does he continually whine about everything?"
What we've found is that by focusing on the positive and letting him know when he has done something right, our times together have gone much better.
The two of us have a wonderful relationship. But, it wouldn't stay that way for very long if we continually focused on what we didn't like about the other instead of what we most appreciate in each other.
What we try to do is when we find that irritating thought coming up, to switch it to a positive quality that we appreciate in the other.
This usually changes the dynamic from being critical to one of being grateful.
So we suggest that you focus on the positive aspects of things that your friends and loved ones do and say instead of the negative. You won't believe what changes can happen in your relationships if you do!
