Breaking up--Did the Guy Do it Too Quickly?
Recently we received an interesting question from a guy and we thought that our answer would be helpful to a lot of people in his situation.
In a nutshell, here's what he was asking...
He and his girlfriend were completely in love but last week she started having these doubts about their relationship working out because he was leaving for college across the country. He was confused because it seemd that half of her was trying to convince the other half of her that loved him to break up with him. Her indecisiveness was killing him so he broke up with her. He said that he still loved her but asked how he could forget her.
Here's our answer to him and to anyone in this situation...
Your question is "how can I forget her?" but we think that you gave up too soon.
t looks like your girlfriend was "testing you, the relationship and your love" and you FAILED the test. Women
(and men for that matter) don't want someone in their life who is going to run away when things get tough. They want someone who is going to stand and fight for them and the love they share with their partner and for
what is possible. They want someone to stand up and say and show them things like... "you don't have to
worry about our love" and "I'm just going to love you" no matter what.
You didn't do that. You broke up with her.
We would suggest that you take some time and find out what you truly want. Chances are there are some patterns that you will see in your life where you "give up" easily when things don't go exactly as planned or when you hit a snag. Or you may have a pattern of attracting partners to you who have trouble committing.
Whatever your pattern is--take this opportunity to know what you want and to go for it.
Tell her what it is that you truly want and if you want her and this relationship (you say you love her), be willing to say it and prove to her that you are there and will be there. If you're unsure, then say that but say that what you are willing to commit to.
In our experience, this pattern of easily backing out of a situation or relationship and not truly committing will repeat itself until you tackle it. Be willing to fight for what you want and if it's clear that she can't or doesn't want to continue in the relationship, you will at least have taken a stand for what you want.
