The "What now" depends on what you want for your life and how you want to live.

It sounds like you have tried for 10 years to make your relationship better by going to counseling and your relationship has reached a point where you both have to look at what you want in life.

The first thing I would suggest is to decide whether you want to stay in a marriage where you aren't loved. You don't say whether your husband wants to end your marriage or not. He may be and probably is in a lot of turmoil. But whatever is going on with him--you need to search your heart for what you want, knowing that he's probably not going to magically love you again like he used to.

Gather around you a support system of friends who will not give you pity but rather will listen to you and just be with you. Find a therapist just for you to help you through this.

When Susie's ex-husband told her something similar after 30 years of marriage, they both went to counseling but after a few months, she was the one who had to decide what she deserved to have in her life. She decided that she deserved to be loved (like she is now by Otto) and that her ex deserved to find someone who he could love and who could love him the way he wanted.

That decision to split is never an easy one, especially after years of marriage and we never recommend doing it without trying everything to come back together. But there can reach a point when both people are honest with themselves and with each other that they decide that they will never be happy together and that they need to move on.

Even though it looks very dark right now and it's so painful to be told that the person you love doesn't love you anymore, it may be time to look toward the future and creating a new life for yourself. It takes courage but often times both people are much happier in their new lives.