What We Learned from Mary J. Blige...
Many people don't realize this yet but...
One of the most important things that we've learned by being together is that having love and connection can be "normal" in our lives and that this is possible for anyone if they choose.
We thought about this idea just the other day as we were reading in this month's issue of Oprah magazine an article with Oprah interviewing the soul singer Mary J. Blige.
In this interview, Mary talks about her transformation and how she went from blaming other people for her circumstances and feeling sorry for herself to taking responsibility for every part of her life.
"Normal" for her was carrying around an attitude that hadn't served her mother and certainly didn't serve her. According to the interview, she drank too much to cover her lack of self-confidence and went though life as a victim, holding onto a lot of anger and unforgiveness. All of this pain and rawness came out in the songs she sang.
According to the article, her transformation is reflective in every part of her life, especially in the songs she sings now. She told Oprah that because she is singing more positive kinds of songs she has lost a million fans when she released her "Love and Life" album but gained fans who are asking "How do we get free?"
In our words, Mary has chosen to make love "normal" in her life. She said, "I've gotta love me more than anybody else loves me" and we think that those certainly are powerful words to live by.
So, we ask you these questions...
Is love "normal" in your life?
If it isn't, what can you do to start making it that way?
If it is, what can you do to keep it "normal"?
If you are interested in creating more love in your life and want to make love "normal," here are some questions and ideas that we'll toss your way to get you thinking about how you can begin doing this:
1. Is there something that you need to stop doing or start doing that will bring more love into your life, which includes
loving yourself?
Mary J. Blige decided to quit drinking excessively and to come home instead of staying out "partying" all night after a concert. We choose every morning to connect in a way with each other that keeps our connection strong and healthy.
2. Is there someone you need to open your heart to more?
In this interview with Oprah, Mary said that she has issues hearing her husband but that she's growing. She said that she came from a family of women who were fighters and that they didn't listen to men. So in our way of thinking, opening her heart more is opening to listening to her husband without old judgments and attitudes creeping
in that have nothing to do with him.
You might be estranged from someone who used to mean a lot to you. You might be in a marriage or relationship
and the two of you seem to be going through the motions and not really connecting.
Whatever it is in your relationship (or even if you don't have a significant other), there is always space, if you're willing, to open your heart more and allow more love in.
3. Is there anything that you are accepting as "normal" that you no longer want to accept as "normal" in your life?
Mary J. Blige accepted her life of blame, feeling sorry for herself and excessive drinking as "normal." When she
overheard her now husband say that if she came home drunk again after staying out all night, he was leaving,
she decided to change what was "normal" for her.
Both of us chose to no longer accept an intimate relationship that wasn't close, connected and passionate as "normal." We choose in every moment to do the things that help us to keep our relationship alive and growing--that's what's "normal" for us now.
We invite you to consider what you have accepted as "normal" and decide what you truly want in your life.
