Alzheimers and Relationships
My mother is in the later stages of Alzheimer's disease and although there are so many aspects that are difficult, perhaps the most difficult is the loss of communication and connection with her. At times she seems to know who we are when we visit but verbal communication is almost impossible as she now speaks in random (or maybe not so random) words and partial sentences.
As I think of her the way she used to be, full of life and love, I'm reminded of just how precious our time with our loved ones is. We just bought Rosanne Cash's new album "Black Cadillac" dedicated to her father, Johnny Cash. In one of her songs, Rosanne said of her relationship with her father--"All these years to prove how much I care. I didn't know it, but you were always there..."
Sometimes, all we have to do is turn around and look at the love that is always there...
Maybe that love isn't exactly the way we want it, but it's there nonetheless and the only thing we have to do is open our eyes to it.
My daughter wrote a beautiful poem about trying to communcate with my mom, her "MeeMaw," with whom she's always had a special connection. In trying to understand, she wrote these beautiful words...
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"Searching With Meemaw"
by Amy Phillips-Gary
Where is she now?
We wonder
Sitting with our matriarch
Her gaze hazy and
Almost always
Someplace else
Are the bizarre words
Accounts of bits and pieces
Smatterings of memories
From her younger days?
Were those “tangled legs under a skirt”
Her own exploring, pleasure-filled
Adventures
What more is there that we
Will never know?
To this woman sitting before us
Almost a shell
Is there another realm
She visits when she leaves
A place where it is
Unlike
Anything
We can know
“Toast” needing to be “harvested”
“Showers” to be “counted”
What else lies beyond, alongside
The present
We call present
The now
We assume to be the only
Now?
I long to open the doors
To her mind
To climb inside
And ride with her
For just awhile
To better understand
Where she goes, has gone.
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We invite you to connect and communicate while you can with those who are and have been important to you in your life.
Susie Collins
