Communication Tips: "We Don't Look at Each Other Anymore..."
It may sound like common sense but what we've discovered as Relationship Coaches is that many relationship challenges, especially intimate relationships, are created in part because people don't look, really look, at one another anymore.
We are currently offering a seminar by telephone about how to get the spark back in your relationship and the number one thing that our participants took away from last night's session was the realization that they have "forgotten" about actually looking at each other when they interact.
Here are some simple communication tips to help the two of you feel closer and more connected, along with reasons why looking at each other is so important...
1. Stop what you are doing and actually look your partner in their eyes when you are talking to them or when they are talking to you. Yes, we are all busy and have a million things to do but so often, we take for granted the very person who should be and maybe once was the closest to us--the person we once felt very connected to but now we are just two people living in the same house.
2. Understand that when you do not look at your partner when he/she is talking or when you are talking to them, you are not honoring them and you are showing a lack of respect. Althought it seems like a small thing, over time, this lack of respect erodes a relationship to the point that the two people don't even know each other any more.
3. When you don't look at one another when you are speaking to each other, your conversation is ripe for misunderstandings, assumptions and building resentment. How often have you been supposedly listening to someone as they were speaking and your mind has been elsewhere? It's far easier to be present when the other person is talking when you are looking into their eyes and it's also far easier to understand what they are saying. If you understand what they are saying, you're not going to make assumptions and you'll clear up resentments before they build and get out of control.
4. It's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. When you look in someone's eyes, you are seeing who they really are. You are able to understand them better and possibly have more compassion for that person that you might not have had if you hadn't looked in their eyes.
5. When people are scared of opening to others (for whatever reason), they often don't look into the other's eyes. If you find that you are not looking in your partner's eyes (or anyone's) as they talk, begin to ask yourself why. Are you afraid of what the other person will see in them? Have you allowed yourself to overcommit and are racing through your life, not really living it? Have you forgotten how to really love someone?
If you discover that you are not looking in the eyes of others who you love (children, spouse, partner), we invite you to ask yourself these questions and then decide if you truly want to open to a deeper relationship with that person.
Don't let your life go by on auto-pilot. Take charge and start living!
