Love and Relationship Advice Blog

Almost everyone does it-- typically every year around New Years day, people seem to instinctively look back on what happened in the past year and look forward to what they want to change in the new year and we are no different.

Over the past few days we've been taking some time to set our intentions and make some plans for the new year in our work, our personal life, as well as our relationship.

No matter how you celebrate the new year, we invite you to do some conscious planning for how you want your relationships and your life to be like in 2006.

Napoleon Hill said, "Every well-built house started with a definite plan in the form of blueprints."

The question is do you have a set of blueprints for how you want your relationships and your life to be?

We have observed that most of us are fairly unconscious of the direction that our relationships and lives are going.

We go from rushing the kids out the door in the morning, to work, to soccer game, to the grocery store, to household chores--often in a state of auto-pilot.

If you don't decide what it is you want for your life, it will be decided for you by other people.

One thing which is helping to set the direction for our relationship and our lives is the conscious setting of goals. Once again, we are using a book called "Your Best Year Yet" by Jinny Ditzler to help us clarify what's important
to us and what we want to be and do during this year.

We think that goal-setting is a great way to communicate what's important to you and to see where your partner's
steps may be taking them. We've found that it is a very effective communication tool and helps keep the energy
flowing in your relationship.

Most of the e-mail messages that we get from people asking for help in their relationships center around communication problems with a significant other.

Now, we don't think that everyone has to do what we do to have a passionate, alive, connected relationship but it is important to find ways of communicating constantly and connecting that work for you.

We suggest that as you start the new year, you find some ways to communicate your plans, goals, and desires to your partner and listen to theirs. Even if you can't spend a lot of time together each week, we suggest making it a goal to spend 10-15 minutes or more talking about what you want and what is important to each of you.

We think this is important for several reasons. By saying your goals aloud and what's important to you, you have the opportunity to talk about your desires and where you would each like your lives to go. Not only does that allow you to see where you each are headed but by making your desires known, you can discover where you're headed also!

If you don't have a partner, we suggest that you do this with a friend or simply write your goals by yourself to help you see what you want for your life.

When we do this, we've also found that it helps us focus on what we want rather than what we don't want.

We think you'll be surprised at the good things that happen when you do.

For more articles on communication, visit http://www.RelationshipGold.com/Communication/index.htm.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Christmas day, as I sat with my mother who is in the later stages of Alzheimer's disease, I put my arm around her shoulder and she gently reached up and held my hand for a moment. It was the first time in a long while that she had made an attempt to connect with me in that way.

Although it's been proven that touch is good for people with this disease, what I didn't realize was how much I wanted and had missed her touch.

As I was thinking about this connection with my mom, I started thinking about how important touch is with every one in my life and how I sometimes take touching my loved ones and them touching me for granted.

My question to you is this…

Are you aware of how important touch is in your life and what you are communicating with your touch?

My question to you is this…

Are you aware of how important touch is in your life and what you are communicating with your touch?

We can be mindful and present when we hug someone or simply touch their hand or we can be going through the motions. We can accept someone's hug or touch and feel it in our hearts or we can completely miss the chance to connect.

We all know how important touch is to babies and what we may not realize is how important it still is when we become adults.

My message to you is to become aware of who you are touching and why you are touching them. What message are you conveying with your touch? What message do you want to convey with your touch?

Use your touch to communicate what's in your heart and feel into another's heart. If you do, you will enrich your relationships and create closer connections with your loved ones.

For more communication ideas, visit http://www.Relationshipgold.com/

Susie Collins

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday, at 1:35 pm Eastern time, a scientific event called the Winter Solstice occured. At this time, because of the earth's tilt, the northern hemisphere was leaning furthest from the sun and daylight was the shortest.

Many cultures have observed the Winter Solstice with ceremony and at the root of these ceremonies is the ancient fear that the light will never return.

In honor of the darkest day and the anticipation of the coming light, we invite you to choose to bring more light and love into your relationships.

What that means is different for everyone and every one of your relationships.

Take a few moments and list your important relationships and don't forget your relationship with yourself. Be sure to include the difficult ones and the ones that tend to irritate you the most.

Now, write one word or maybe even a phase of how you intend to allow more light and love to enter each relationship.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started...

1. Not jump to conclusions so quickly

2. Connect each evening, even for 15 or 20 minutes

3. Give a nightly foot rub to my beloved

4. Stop what you are doing and listen more intently to your kids

5. Treat yourself to a relaxing bath with music and candles once a week

6. Be more truthful when you don't want to do something or go somewhere

7. Visit or call your mother, even for 30 minutes, each week and really be there for her during that time

8. Stop yourself when you start getting critical

9. Be patient and loving instead of impatient

10. Learn something new that will increase your enthusiasm and zest for life

Choose some ways that speak to you that will bring more light into your relationships and practice them. Keep the
list handy to remind you.

This world needs all the love and light it can get right now and the best place to start is with you and your relationships.

Our blessings to you for a happy holiday and many loving relationships!

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you're anything like us, finding that perfect gift for your loved one or significant other can be challenging, to say the least.

You may have challenges coming up with gift ideas that your partner would love and you may also have financial constraints that prevent you from buying the gift you might want to buy. You might also want to be "romantic" but just don't know where to start.

If gift-giving between the two of you is a challenge, you might want to propose doing what we do to celebrate
our birthdays and holidays.

We choose to give each other a romantic treat of our choice.

Here's how it works...

Each of us decides what would be a delicious, romantic treat to celebrate each other, the occasion and bring us closer.

Here are some romantic ideas that we and others have used that take the stress out of gift-giving and actually make it fun:

1. A massage session that can be simply lovingly massaging your partner's shoulders, feet, or hands.
Your massage session can be as sexual as you want it to be. Just ask for what you want and honor what
your partner wants.

2. Buy a really good piece of chocolate and eat it together by eating very small bites, very slowly. Take an hour at least. Look at each other as you do it and just allow the wonderful taste to penetrate every part of you and your partner.

3. Play special music for your loved one, maybe music that means something to the two of you. Once in awhile
we will have what we call "music night" where we choose music from our collection that is meaningful for us and
touches us.

4. Go to a favorite spot that means something to the two of you. As part of our holiday gift to each other, we are visiting the place where we had our first date which is also where we were married. It's a wonderful spot in Hocking Hills called Ash Cave and holds such good vibrations for us. We're simply going to go and sit and kiss.

Those are just some of the romantic ideas that we use to take away the stress of finding the "right" gift and giving what is most important to each of us--time to re-connect with each other.

We invite you to give our ideas a try or be creative and think up your own tantalizing ways to romance your partner or significant other.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We are Relationship coaches, soulmates, spiritual and life partners, who are committed to helping people like you improve your life and your relationships.

For 30 years, Susie has been a student of relationships, spirituality, energy and the life force. Her search for physical, emotional and spiritual healing has led her to the study of Polarity Therapy, cranio-sacral therapy, reflexology, Hatha Yoga, the Enneagram, and much more. Her formal training includes a Bachelor of Science degree in education, a Masters degree in Library Science, and is a Registered Polarity Practitioner with the American Polarity Therapy Association and Certified Comprehensive Coach from Comprehensive Coach U. Susie is a veteran teacher and university librarian with over 30 years experience teaching in the public schools and university classes.

Otto has spent over 20 years as a successful salesperson and marketer of a variety of products and services. Many years ago, as a result of pondering three of life’s greatest questions-- Who am I, Why am I here and What’s this all about-- Otto turned his life’s focus to bear on the practice and study of spirituality, personal growth and relationships.

We passionately believe that life can be lived in a joyful, conscious, loving way and we are committed to helping others to experience the potential of what is possible in their own lives and relationships. The desire to be loved the way we wanted to be loved took each of us on a journey of discovery of how to create the relationship of our dreams. We believe Spirit put us together for our own personal growth and to shine the light of hope for others. Our goal is to help others create outstanding lives and passionate, alive, connected relationships.

Since 1999, we have been creating web sites about relationships, offering relationship coaching, giving workshops and talks, and writing on topics that relate to helping people create vital, alive relationships.

Our free online weekly relationship newsletter reaches thousands of people all over the world. Along with our books and audio tapes, we offer relationship and life coaching to singles and couples in person and by phone.

Our formal coaching training has been with Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks of the Hendricks Institute and Comprehensive Coaching U. We are co-authors of "Creating Relationship Magic," "Communication Magic" "Should you stay or should you go?" "No More Jealousy" and "Creating Relationship Trust."

For more information about our work or to schedule a relationship coaching session, contact:

Susie and Otto Collins
www.relationshipgold.com
www.soulmaterelationships.com
614-459-8121

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here are several resources we recommend to help you create vibrant, alive relationships and the life you want...

Red Hot Love Relationships Whether you're 18, 80 or anywhere in between...here's how you can discover the secrets to creating a relationship filled with as much love, passion, intimacy, connection and incredible lovemaking as you want! For more information, visit http://www.redhotloverelationships.com

7 Intimacy Secrets FREE sample video and FREE mini-course (based on the ideas in our "7 Intimacy Secrets" DVD) for anyone who wants to know how to create deeper intimacy and connection in their relationships. To see the free sample video or to get the FREE mini-course on increasing intimacy visit http://www.TheIntimacySecrets.com

How to Heal Your Broken Heart What are the secrets to getting over a relationship break up or divorce? It's much more than you think. In this new book we show you what it takes to heal a broken, get rid of your pain, let go of the past and move on to a happier more joyful future. For more information, visit http://www.HowToHealYouBbrokenHeart.com

Relationship Attractor Factor
7 simple steps to attracting and keeping the love you want. For more information, visit http://www.RelationshipAttractor.Factor.com

No More Jealousy
This brand new course is for anyone who wants to overcome and eliminate jealousy from their
relationships and their lives. For more information, visit http://www.NoMoreJealousy.com

Communication Magic
Discover the secrets to immediately improving communication in all your relationships and to create a lifetime of love. For more information, visit http://www.Communication-Magic.com

Are you considering leaving a relationship?
Should You Stay or Should You Go? is a brand new book filled with compelling questions and insights to help you make that difficult relationship decision. For more information, visit http://www.StayOrGo.com

Creating Relationship Trust
Of all the qualities that make up a good relationship, trust is undeniably the most important. It's the one quality that a relationship simply can't survive without. For complete details on how to build trust in a relationship and how to rebuild it if it's been broken, visit http://www.RelationshipTrust.com

7 Proven Secrets for Attracting Your Perfect Partner
If you're ready, this course reveals our proven step-by-step formula for attracting your perfect partner and bringing more love into your life. For more information, visit http://www.PerfectPartnerNow.com

Creating Relationship Magic
Discover what two soulmates do to create a magical relationship! In our e-book, "Creating Relationship Magic" we've identified 52 of the biggest challenges and issues we all face in our relationships and through powerful personal stories and examples, we show you how you can create magical relationships in your life .....Visit http://www.CreatingRelationshipMagic.com

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 02:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"A Simple Communication Shift For Creating Better Relationships "
by Susie and Otto Collins

Last week, we took a much needed vacation and headed off for the clear skies, sun and warmer weather that we don't typically have this time of year where we live in south central Ohio. In addition to getting some sun and enjoying some time off, we also got to make some interesting observations about how to create great relationships.

Here's an example of one of the many interactions we noticed and what you can learn from it to make your relationships and the holiday season better in any area of your life...

Airports are usually pretty hectic during the holiday season and this past week was no exception. As we waited in line to check in for our flight, we couldn't help but notice a disturbance that was happening at the ticket counter next to us.

We didn't know this until last week but the airline we were flying on now has a baggage weight limit and travelers are charged an extra fee for anything above that weight. It so happened that the man at the counter had several bags and one of them was several pounds overweight.

The airline representative, in a very business-like voice, explained the policy and suggested that he could transfer the extra pounds from one suitcase to another to avoid the extra fee.

As we watched this interaction, we noticed that the traveler was obviously flustered as he rummaged through his luggage and the airline representative, although courteous, seemed distant and aloof.

This could have been the way their interaction continued but it wasn't. Instead, we were able to watch a wonderful example of understanding and connection being created right before our very eyes.

The traveler was frustrated with the policy and was upset about having to take a few extra minutes to rearrange his belongings to meet their luggage weight requirement.

In his frustration, he happened to say in a voice anyone could hear--"That's what I get for playing Santa." With those words, we watched the airline representative almost immediately soften her reaction to him.

As she laughed and made some comment, the energy in our area of the airport seemed to get lighter. We and everyone in line seemed to feel the shift of energy that came about from the simple understanding of why the man's luggage was so heavy.

After that, it was no time until the extra weight was shifted to his other luggage and he was on his way.

What this reminds us and we want to pass on to you is this...

When you feel yourself stiffening or resisting someone or something, begin opening your heart to understanding the other person or event that seems to be causing your distress.

Sometimes it's just a tight feeling in your abdomen or it might be some feeling in your chest or head. Whatever it is for you, begin to learn how you close yourself off to other people when there's confrontation or when something uncomfortable happens.

Discover how you can open yourself to listening to understand the situation instead reacting from old patterns and habitual ways of being that have been destructive to your relationships.

We're not saying that the airline representative was doing anything wrong in her business-like approach to the problem that the traveler was facing. We are saying that we couldn't help but notice that a real connection between the two people was possible only when she understood the situation.

The traveler still had to switch the weight or pay the weight overage fee. That fact didn't change. What did change was the energy between the two people and even the energy among the people where we were standing in line.

So, especially at this holiday season, stop yourself from reacting in the ways you always seem to react with your family, your partner or spouse, your kids, or your co-workers. Remind yourself to find out more about the situation or what was said that might have hurt your feelings and have it as your intention to understand.

Think about how you can soften, be kinder and more loving with the people you come in contact with.

It may not change the outcome of the situation but it will change the way you connect with that other person.

If you do this, we are sure that you will see a change for the better in your relationships!

For more relationship advice, visit http://www.RelationshipGold.com

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)