Fighting, Arguing, Yelling, Screaming (Here's When It's a Good Thing)
We know this is true for us--check it out and see if it's true for you as well.
We bet it is...
Here's what happens...
One or both of you get triggered about something that the other says or does...
You defend and argue your point...
Then you either withdraw and clam up or keep trying to prove you're right by getting louder and more insistent.
...and the really crazy thing that happens when you're in the middle of a fight or argument is that little voice in your head that's throwing its own king sized temper-tantrum.
In the middle of these kinds of fights and arguments, very often you find yourself thinking things about your spouse or partner like...
"You don't love me..."
"I hate you..."
"I'll show you. I'm going to have an affair..."
"I should have never married you in the first place..."
"My mother was right about you and it took me 27 years
to finally see it..."
You might even say out loud some of these things that you don't really mean (just to get your point across) and that you later regret.
Your "fight" doesn't get resolved but eventually the two of you may ease your anger enough to "get along"--until the next time.
Sounds frustrating and pretty dismal, doesn't it?
We found out that it doesn't have to be that way.
You can use these arguments and fights to find out what you really want (it's usually not what you think you're fighting about)...
And get a resolution to the real issue that's underneath the obvious cause of the disconnection.