October 17, 2014

What Soul Mates LOVE and HATE about Being Soul mates

couplesilhouetteonbeach2150.jpg There's a lot of talk these days about soul mates...

In fact, people regularly ask us...

"Are you two soul mates?"

Women are wanting to find, have or be with their soul mate and love the idea of what they think will happen when you're in a "soul mate relationship."

We LOVE this because when there's talk in the air about soul mates like there is right now, it allows us to enter a deeper conversation about passion and connection and how to create lasting love that can stay fully alive.

So, what's the truth and reality of being soul mates?

Is it as awesome as you've been led to think and believe it is?

Or..

Is it a royal pain in the behind?

Continue reading "What Soul Mates LOVE and HATE about Being Soul mates" »

October 10, 2014

Real, Raw and Revealing-- Otto's conversation with a "Tough Guy" about women...

wallsm.jpg If you think men just don't get it when it comes to relationships...

We'll introduce you to the a couple of fantastic communication tips from one of the most unlikeliest of places...

"Mac The Construction Foreman."

Think we're kidding?

We're not.

We've been having some "not so minor" work done on the new house we just moved into a few months ago.

Yesterday, Otto was out doing his self-appointed job of "supervising" the crew that was digging in our yard when he found himself in an absolutely mid-blowing conversation with "Mac" the real foreman of the job.

What was so amazing about this conversation was...

Who this guy was, where he had come from in his life and his stories that he told Otto about the life challenges that
he'd experienced.

Mac was ex-military. Served a couple of tours in Iraq--was tall, muscular and easy-going but at the same time, a no BS kind of guy who never did get that cup of coffee he'd been wanting all morning.

Somehow, Mac trusted Otto and because of this...

He told Otto about things he'd been through that would have made most men shut down, turn off and go sit in a corner somewhere and just be content to have a drink to try to make it through the day instead of being fully engaged in love and life like Mac seemed to be.

The conversation Otto had with Mac was about as real, raw, revealing (and ridiculously good) as any Otto has ever had with a man about women and relationships.

And here's what he said about women and relationships that was totally fascinating and for many men that is "right on target" with how they feel...

Continue reading "Real, Raw and Revealing-- Otto's conversation with a "Tough Guy" about women... " »

October 06, 2014

Sticky, Messy Conversations--3 Tips for Making Them Easier

CoupleGlaringAtEachOther136.jpg Any conversation can turn ugly and messy if you don't handle it right and today we give you 3 tips for handling conversations that could get ugly fast and what to do instead...

One of the most icky feelings you could ever experience when you're in a relationship or marriage (especially when you've been together a long time) is...

When you feel like you can't say what you think or how you feel.

You can feel unbearably empty and...

It just sucks the life out of you and your relationship.

There are plenty of reasons when you may not feel like you can open up and be honest with your partner or summon the courage to ask for what you want.

But, if you want to be happy--asking for what you want (in a way your spouse or partner can hear it) is something you MUST be able to do.

If you can't talk to your partner in this way, you not only feel disconnected from them but we're guessing that you are also angry and upset (even if you don't want to admit it--even you yourself.)

So, what's the solution?

How can you say what's on your mind and in your heart without fear of what your partner might say, do or how they might react?

How can you really talk to your spouse or partner without either of you getting angry, hurt or defensive?

In a nutshell, it's 3 things that make the difference when you're communicating with someone important to you (isn't that everyone?)...

Continue reading "Sticky, Messy Conversations--3 Tips for Making Them Easier" »

September 25, 2014

When Love Goes Bad...Here's What to Do...

couplearmwrestle150.jpg If you're not getting the love you want...

Most people in your situation start asking themselves the question (either consciously or unconsciously)...

Should I stay with this person (even if I love them) or should I move on?

And if you want to stay and rebuild the love, here's something you should know...

It's the most important aspect of any relationship.

AND...

It's also the first thing you want to fix if you don't have the love, passion or connection that you want from your partner.

What we're talking about is TRUST.

And no, we're not just talking about lack of trust as in the screaming, crying, thinking your love is over due to him or her cheating on you kind of trust issues.

We're talking about a whole other layer of trust issues that are present in almost every relationship or marriage...

But most people don't see them or realize they are there until it's too late.

Continue reading "When Love Goes Bad...Here's What to Do..." »

September 12, 2014

Fighting, Arguing, Yelling, Screaming (Here's When It's a Good Thing)

yelling150.jpg We know this is true for us--check it out and see if it's true for you as well.

We bet it is...

Here's what happens...

One or both of you get triggered about something that the other says or does...

You defend and argue your point...

Then you either withdraw and clam up or keep trying to prove you're right by getting louder and more insistent.

...and the really crazy thing that happens when you're in the middle of a fight or argument is that little voice in your head that's throwing its own king sized temper-tantrum.

In the middle of these kinds of fights and arguments, very often you find yourself thinking things about your spouse or partner like...

"You don't love me..."

"I hate you..."

"I'll show you. I'm going to have an affair..."

"I should have never married you in the first place..."

"My mother was right about you and it took me 27 years
to finally see it..."

You might even say out loud some of these things that you don't really mean (just to get your point across) and that you later regret.

Your "fight" doesn't get resolved but eventually the two of you may ease your anger enough to "get along"--until the next time.

Sounds frustrating and pretty dismal, doesn't it?

We found out that it doesn't have to be that way.

You can use these arguments and fights to find out what you really want (it's usually not what you think you're fighting about)...

And get a resolution to the real issue that's underneath the obvious cause of the disconnection.

Continue reading "Fighting, Arguing, Yelling, Screaming (Here's When It's a Good Thing)" »

August 25, 2014

When your partner clams up and pulls away...

coupledistantsm.jpg Imagine this...

You've just come home after a busy work day and you just want to relax but you can't...

Without looking at you or even a "hello," your partner immediately starts telling you what has to be done that evening.

And when you don't answer because you're a bit overwhelmed by all of it, your partner starts complaining that you never do anything around the house to help and wants to talk about what's wrong with your relationship.

You try to listen and respond but the "right" words just don't come and it ends up in a horrific fight and you don't know how it happened.

Not a lot of fun, is it?

Pretty much an automatic shut-down, isn't it?

We know this scenario isn't true for every couple but it is true for more than you can imagine...

...because opposites do attract and this very moment in time (or something very close to it) really is familiar for many
men and women.

We don't like to generalize but in our research, many women want their man to open up and are frustrated because he won't talk.

And many men are equally as frustrated because they feel pushed into talking and sharing--and have learned to automatically withdraw and shut down when she even looks like she wants to talk.

Now of course both women and men do this unconsciously and most are just automatically doing what they were shown and learned to do to get their needs met early in their lives.

But it really doesn't have to be that way.

In fact, it's just the opposite.

Continue reading "When your partner clams up and pulls away..." »

August 06, 2014

Everything can change in a second...

clock200.jpg Two Saturday’s ago, we had an “open house” at our new home and invited some friends in and it was a great time that several said we should repeat again soon.

And then…

Something tragic happened…

The next day, a dear friend of ours (he was at our party the night before) was hiking in a state park with his partner and stumbled and fell off a cliff to his death.

Because it happened so quickly, his partner could do nothing to save him.

We’re not telling you this story to share our sadness or our grief or because of how painful and tragic it was.

We’re sharing this story with you because there’s a BIG lesson about love here that we hope you get.

If you get this, you, your relationships and your ability to love and be loved will be changed forever.

We, like everyone else who loved this man, were shocked at the suddenness of his passing and were left with the reminder of just how precious life and those we love are to us.

Since then, we’ve been especially aware of how we treat each other as well as other people in our lives.

We’re just a little more mindful of those who need encouragement or a little extra love—and then opening to giving it.

We’re being a little kinder to each other, not knowing how much time we have to enjoy being with each other.

We’re being a little more loving with ourselves.

So here’s a question for you...

Continue reading "Everything can change in a second..." »

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Susie & Otto Collins




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